It's Magic Learning Time
by Bucking Frilliance
Summary: The Toonslayer becomes a Potions professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Random adventures! Complete. Contains numerous crack pairings.
1. Letter from Hogwarts

Oh, hi guys! Here's my 2nd story, _It's Magic Learning Time_. I know; the title is kinda lame, but if you're into Harry Potter or magic, then this a good story for you. In case you're wondering why I'm doing this story, it's for you magic lovers.

Harry Potter and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy © the author, J.K. Rowling.

Deathley McClash © EA-Insanity (me)

Cartoon and video game characters © their respective owners.

**And here's my answer to Nero's question- Yes, I forgive you.**

Now, here we go!

_There comes a time in most cartoon and video game character's lives when they take an interest in something. Reading, writing, drawing; whatever floats their boats. But this story contains them taking an interest in magic, and learning about it at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Some will have a swell n' dandy time there. **But some will not**. But, once I shut up, we'll see about positive or negative experiences in magic mastering._

_Now, the story begins..._

Deathley McClash walked of her Luna Hill mansion and to her regal-looking mailbox. It was summer-time and she was taking a break from her show. (It had it's season 1 finale). And her camera crew members were on vacation, of course. Deathley was happy she got a break from stardom and the fans; they'll be plenty surprised at season 2's deaths.

Deathley then took out all of her mail from the mailbox, took a breath of fresh air, and then walked into the mansion's kitchen via the front door. She ate some waffles with syrup and looked at the mail.

"OK then. Electricity bill, water bill, magazine subscription, energy bill, letter from Xavier, phone bill, Hogwarts invite-"

Deathley stopped her sentence. She then took her Hogwarts letter out of the pile of mail. The envelope was yellow with the Hogwarts crest on it in green ink. She then opened the envelope with a trembling paw. The letter itself was a much brighter yellow then the envelope, and the words were written in a much darker green ink.

It read:

_Dear Ms. Deathley McClash-_

_We, the staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, wish for you to be our Head of Ravenclaw, as well as being the Potions professor. You get to teach the wonderful children about potions and how to make them, as well as making them great potion makers. I bet you'll be proud of them all._

_In case you don't understand the term "Ravenclaw", it's a house we have here at Hogwarts. There are 4 of them in total._

_They are:_

_Gryffindor, founded by Godric Gryffindor (this house treasures bravery, symbol is a griffin and colors of the house are scarlet and gold)_

_Hufflepuff, founded by Helga Hufflepuff (this house treasures fair work & hard play, symbol is a badger and colors of the house are yellow and black)_

_Slytherin, founded by Salazar Slytherin (this house treasures ambition & cunning, symbol is a serpent and colors of the house are green and silver)_

_Ravenclaw, founded by Rowena Ravenclaw (this house treasures intellect & wit, symbol is a raven and colors of the house are blue and bronze)_

_**You shall be with the Ravenclaw children. **Be sure they are all safe and happy._

_We hope you accept this magnificent honor of teaching magic._

_Sincerely,_

_The Staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_P.S.- Please send an acceptance or rejection letter ASAP, as **school term starts on September 1st**. If you don't send the letter by then, we'll count it as rejection._

Deathley looked at the letter in shock.

"I'm being _asked_ to work at a _MAGICAL SCHOOL_? Fine. I'll go."

Deathley then took a plain light gray envelope and a sheet a paper and wrote to Hogwarts (her letter was in blue ink from pen):

_Dear Hogwarts:_

_Yes. I accept your offer to work at your school. Only problem is, where is it? Anywere in America? Please tell me soon._

_Yours,_

_Deathley McClash_

Deathley then walked outside to deliver her letter, and walked back into her home.

(Deathley's getting her letter soon! R&R!)


	2. Going to London

Here's chapter 2, _Going to London._

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Deathley © me

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners.

The next day, Deathley had gotten her response to her question about Hogwart's location. She was on pins and needles; she was rarely this anxious. At least about a letter, of course. Deathley walked outside to her mailbox, took out the Hogwarts letter, and set it on the kitchen counter, reading it while drinking her cup of coffee.

_Dear Ms. McClash_,

_Our school is in England, a part of the United Kingdom, along side Wales and the northern half of Ireland. _

Deathley then spit out her coffee, as well as dropping her coffee mug onto the floor, obviously out of surprise. (She should be happy for not letting the mug shatter into pieces on the floor.)

"ENGLAND?"

Nevertheless, Deathley continued reading the letter.

_There are many ways to get to our school (and England, since you claim to reside in the United States of America):_

_1). Via apparition, a spell that teleports you to one place from another_

_2). Via magical flying broom_

_3). Via passenger aiplane to London_

_4). Via cruise ship_

_After you get to London, and when September 1st comes, here's what you have to do:_

_Go to King's Cross Station, and enter Platform 9¾_. _You must run into the stands between platforms 9 and 10, so the Muggles (non-magical folk) won't notice you vanishing right in front of their eyes. If you see a scarlet red train reading "Hogwarts Express" on the front, you made it in the nick of time! Then enter the train, and enjoy talking to the other teachers and the students. The ride lasts for about 4 or 5 hours. You can also have breakfast on the train._

_Then, when you arrive at our school, the Keeper of the Keys & Grounds will show you and the others to small boats, for which you will ride in, magically sail across the lake into a grotto under the castle, and the kids will be sorted into their Houses. If you don't remember**, you will be with Ravenclaws**._

_Enjoy this answer to your question._

_The Staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

Deathley then stared at the letter for a good 5 seconds, groaned, and rubbed her head.

"I don't know what those guys mean by this "apparition" crap-in-a-hat, and I don't have a magic broom. I use brooms to _clean my floor_, not fly the thing like some crazy old witch on Halloween night," Deathley said, annoyed. "But I'll do it anyway."

She then ran to her phone on the kitchen wall, dialed a phone number, and waited 1 minute.

"Hello? Who's this?" said a female voice.

"Hello yourself, EA." Deathley said.

"Deathley! What do you need?"

"Either a plane ticket or a cruise ship to London, England."

"Why? You're going to London because of a publicity event? Buisness trip? Vacation?" EA asked.

"Half buisness, half vacation."

"Half of both?"

"Yepzors." Deathley responded.

"Why half of both?"

"You ask too many questions. Anyway, this magic school, Hogwarts, wants me to be a Head of Ravenclaw, whatever that is."

"It's in England?"

"Again with the questions. Yeah, it is."

"Well, there aren't any cruise tickets lately, but I'll try to get you a plane ticket. Pack your bags."

"Thanks," Deathley said with a smile.

"No problem."

Deathley hung up the phone, and went to clean up her spilled coffee.

* * *

"Oh, this is splendid. Just splendid! All of our teachers we requested accepted our offer to teach! I'm so jolly, I think I'll do a dance!" said a white rabbit.

The rabbit had a black jacket with a yellow shirt under it with a red bowtie, along with a tophat, a pocket watch, everything you can imangine on a imanginary friend made in the Victorian era. This was Mr. Herriman, Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"You dance like a nerd, Fuzzbutt."

Herriman turned around to see a tall 22-year-old woman in the doorway of his office. She had a Powerpuff Girls T-shirt on with a green sweatshirt over it, a purple skirt, red hair tied up into a ponytail, blue & cyan sneakers, and some earrings. This was no other then Frances "Frankie" Foster, Mr. Herriman's creator's granddaughter.

"Miss Frances, how dare you call me a nerd! You should not say such about me, since I'm now the Headmaster, and I can give you a stern punishment if you do so again!"

Frankie rolled her eyes.

"Now," Herriman said, "We have to check out the names of our Heads of Houses!"

Herriman walked over to a paper on his desk. He grabbed it off and stared reading it.

"OK then, first we have Ms. Cheeks for Head of Gryffindor-"

"Who's that?" Frankie asked.

"Ms. Sandra Cheeks."

Frankie looked puzzled.

"I believe many of you know her as Sandy Cheeks."

"Oh, yeah! That squirrel girl from the ocean!"

Herriman sighed and went back to the list.

"Mr. Blik for Head of Slytherin-"

"The black cat?" Frankie asked.

"Yes, quite right. Mr. SquarePants for Head of Hufflepuff, and Ms. McClash for Head of Ravenclaw."

Frankie then got a weird look on her face.

"Is something the matter, Miss Frances?"

"McClash as in _Deathley _McClash?"

"Is there some sort of issue?" Herrmian asked.

"She kills cartoons! Put her in Slytherin! NOT RAVENCLAW!" Frankie yelled.

"_I'm_ the boss here, and _I _choose where _I _want to put Ms. Deathley. I highly doubt she'll attempt to _murder_ any of us; If she does, then _I'll_ take care of such matters, not _you_." Herriman said annoyed.

Frankie muttered furiously to herself and walked out of the office.

* * *

Later in the day, EA got Deathley her tickets for her plane, sent it to her in the mail, and Deathley was overjoyed.

"Awesome possum," she mumbled to herself when she got the tickets, "Now I have to get packed!"

Deathley ran into her mansion and started packing up for London.

_London, here I come,_ Deathley thought to herself.

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	3. Airplanes at VORA

3rd chapter, coming at you!

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley and other bats © me

iPods © Apple Computers

Coca-Cola © The Coca-Cola Company

As fast as a crack of a whip, Deathley left her Luna Hill mansion with 3 suitcases of luggage and hailed a nearby taxi cab to drive her to the city's main airport, Vampuit's Offical Royal Airlines, or called VORA for short. Deathley had everything on her: cell phone, video iPod, clothes, toothbrush, envelopes, a pencil pack, and 2 plane tickets.

(In case you're wonder why I put "2 planes tickets" in the previous paragraph, it's because Deathley has 1 for going _to_ London, and 1 for coming back _from_ London. No flippin' way is Deathley going to fly herself or fly a broomstick over the Atlanic Ocean to get back to her mansion!)

As soon as she arrived at VORA and had to pay the taxi cab driver $3.50 for driving her there, Deathley arrived, and gave her luggage to the employees. She then entered the main hub of the airport. It was very fancy; It contained 3 resturants, 5 gift shops, clean restrooms, arrival and departure areas, and of course, airplanes. Deathley looked around her to see tourists and employees. Many bats were in VORA for 2 reasons: number 1 for touring the city, and number 2 for buisness. She also heard many things such as cashiers opening, babies crying, people talking, and cell phones ringing.

Deathley then looked at the nearest clock.

"It's 3:30. I still have 15 minutes…" she mumbled.

Deathley then walked off to a gift store, and bought a red T-Shirt with a intentionally poorly drawn bat. The bat looked like a black circle with a devil tail and some weird wings that looked likes a butterfly's. She also went to one of the fast-food resturants to buy a Coca-Cola to drink. Coke was one of Deathley's favorite drinks.

Deathley looked at the clock.

"Oh crap! I gotta go!"

Deathley then rushed to the section where planes going to London were taking off, and entered her plane.

_I have to find a seat…_Deathley thought, anxious to find one. She then saw one with nobody in it.

_BINGO! _Deathley thought, running to it and sitting down, relaxing. She knew it was going to take a day or two for the plane to reach London, but she didn't care.

"Excuse me, are you sitting with somebody?" a female vampire bat asked.

Deathley then looked up to see the fruit bat. She had a baby in her arms, a blue sweater with dark gray jeans, and black winter boots. She also had brown hair (but mildly darker that Deathley's fur), light green eyes and some freckles. The baby had dark brown eyes, fur the same exact color as his mother's, and two small fangs.

"…No, why?" Deathley said with a small hint of annoyance in her voice.

"It's because I couldn't find a seat yet for me and Albert," the bat said.

"Who's Albert?" Deathley asked.

"My son." The bat responded.

"OK, you can sit with me."

"Thank you, by the way, my name's Kaskae, Ms…"

"McClash. My name is Deathley McClash." Deathley said, somewhat rudely.

"_Deathley_ McClash?" Kaskae asked curiously.

"Yeah. The toonslayer from TV," Deathley said. "Look, I really don't have a picture of myself to give you my autograph, girl, but I _can_-"

Deathley looked up to see Kaskae and Albert were gone. She noticed them sitting on the other side of the plane, about 4 rows behind Deathley's area. Deathley saw them, and Kaskae shot her a "_Like I'm going to let my child get some of your bad influence!" _look, and gave Albert a bottle of apple juice to drink, along with a toy rattle. Albert happily took the rattle and shook it, and drank some of his juice. Kaskae smiled at her son and shot Deathley a "_I hate **you** so much_" look, and let someone sit next to her. (She and Albert were sitting on the window side.)

_What a baby butt-munch_, Deathley thought to herself, grinning. _Why the hell should I destroy her kid's brain? He's probably going to destroy it himself by watching too much cartoons and eating crap loads of sugar._

Then the plane took off into the great big blue sky, leaving land, lifting off thousands of feet in the air, leaving a plume-white steam of smoke.

* * *

"MISS FRANCES!" Mr. Herriman yelled. "Come to my office as soon as possible! ASAP!"

"What?!" Frankie called, entering Herriman's office.

Rather then wearing her trademark attire, she had a light gray 3-quarter shirt with a orange cresent moon on it, and a frilly (and long) dark gray skirt that went up to the end of Frankie's shins. She was also wearing a silver star necklace that Madame Foster had recently bought for her at a jewelry shop in downtown London, and her regular cyan and yellow sneakers.

"I just wanted to know that you watered the plants, trimmed the hedges, dusted the hourglasses, did the laundry, oiled the train along with the engineers, made the children's beds-"

"Yeah, yeah," Frankie said, angrily. "I did all of that."

Herriman gave her a "_Don't cut my sentence short off again_." look, and continued the list.

"Cleaned the bathrooms, got rid of destroyed books in the library and got the firewood. Did you do all of that, Ms. Frances?"

Frankie gave Herriman an annoyed "Yes" nod.

"Good. Now, I want to discuss some matters with you-"

"Is it about getting rid of Deathley McClash and getting a new Head of Ravenclaw?!" Frankie yelled out happily.

"…**NO**. And please, stop cutting off my sentences."

Frankie pouted.

"Where was I? Oh yes, we have to make sure the broomsticks work well and the they won't send the children to outer space…"

(Read and review)


	4. Meeting Sandy

The moment you all have been waiting for…DEATHLEY GOING TO HOGWARTS! Finally!

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

Deathley wasn't exactly having the greatest time of her life on the plane. Since take-off, it was nothing but chaos. Crying toddlers and babies, people snoring, people getting annoyed because they didn't get their food, and so on and so forth. She was quite sick of this noise, but she'll be happy once it's night time, as (most of) the other passengers should have fallen asleep by then.

_I hate this plane,_ Deathley thought to herself. _Ah well, at least I didn't sit next to a person who threw up in their barf bag._

Luckily for Deathley, nobody threw up.

* * *

Meanwhile at Hogwarts... 

...Things weren't really flying (no pun intended), smoothly. In Herriman's case, things were going OK. But in Frankie's case, it's starting to bug her. Ever since Herriman, Frankie and Madame Foster re-located to England for the year, Frankie was busy in and out with cleaning. But then again, wouldn't _you_ be sick of cleaning up a whole castle for many magic-learners? Doing chores such as sweeping the floor, oiling the Hogwarts Express, serving food to students and teachers, trimming flowers and hedges, destorying old books, finding firewood, polishing trophies, making students' beds, doing laundry, and much more? **OF COURSE YOU WOULD!**

One day, Frankie decided to go to Herriman's office and settle the issue once and for all.

"HERRIMAN!" Frankie yelled, banging on Herriman's office door, with all of her energy.

"MISS FRANCES! STOP THE BANGING!" Herriman yelled back, his voice slightly muffled due to the fact he was in his office.

"I need to talk to you," Frankie said calmly, "Right this minute!"

"Very well, then. Come in."

Frankie entered Herriman's office, annoyed. She was wearing her maid attire (AKA the 3-quarter light gray shirt with the orange cresent, long dark gray frilly skirt, and silver star necklace), which she had to wear when cleaning the school.

"And please tell me," Herriman asked curiously, "Why you are here right now, Miss Frances?"

Frankie sighed, and sat down in a chair near Herriman's desk, and rubbed her head.

"I've been wokring my BUTT off for the past 2 weeks cleaning up this place! I'm really tired of it," Frankie replied, still rubbing her head. "And I have an idea to solve this, if you think it's OK to go along with."

"Go right ahead. I'm listening." Herriman mumbled.

Frankie smiled and told Herriman her "solution" for her dilemma.

"What if," Frankie said, "I, Frankie Foster, pick out some volunteer maids to help me with my work?"

"_Work? _What do you mean by that?" Herriman asked.

"I'm always so busy with cleaning, that I need help with it. That's why I want some helpers!" Frankie said with an eye roll.

"It seems like a good idea, indeed," Herriman said, nodding. "But there's one tiny problem with it."

"What would the problem be about?" Frankie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"How do we- yes, us- get the children to sign up for such an volunteering position if a majority of them hate clean-"

"That's SO simple," Frankie said, ignoring Herriman's "_Stop cutting me off!_" look. "I give them 'No Homework' passes! Then they'll be willing to do it!"

"Wait," Herriman said, "Shouldn't we ask Ms. Cheeks, Mr. SquarePants, Mr. Blik and Ms. McClash for permission to hand out those pass-"

"Done and done," Frankie said, once again ignoring Herriman's irritated glance. "In a week, when the kids come, I'll tell them about it! I'll make the sign-up sheets right now!"

Frankie then got up from the seat, and went to her room to go on her computer.

"Good-bye, Miss-"

Frankie then left the room, slamming the door shut.

"...Frances." Herriman said with a sigh, and went back to his paper-work.

* * *

The next day, the plane landed on the ground of a London airport, much to Deathley's delight. She can finally get off the plane full of (what she believes to be) nutjobs. The bats in the plane rushed out, nearly running Deathley over. Luckily for her, she didn't get run over, and if she did, it wouldn't be a pleasant experience for the person who ran her over. 

"That's good," Deathley muttered to herself. "No one ran me over. And it's gonna STAY that way."

Deathley picked up her bags from the luggage storage, and ran off to the exit, to hail a taxi. It was a bit hard for her, since she had about 3 or 4 suitcases of clothing with her. Nevertheless, she exited the airport, and went onto the sidewalk. Some folks watched Deathley in intrest, while some went on with whatever they're currently doing.

"Taxi!" Deathley yelled, waving her left arm in the air.

Much to Deathley's delight, she successfully got a taxi driver's attention. It drove right over to Deathley, and she opended a door, and put in her luggage. She almost closed the door when the taxi cab driver shook his head.

"What's wrong?" Deathley asked him.

"Aren't ya going to let the other gal in?" The man asked, glaring at Deathley.

"Uh, I didn't see the other girl, but you did see her, so I guess I will keep the door open-"

"Ya _BETTER_ let the other gal in, ya hear? It's really rude to close a door on the other dude or gal behind ya!" The man yelled, his eyes turning into stilts.

Deathley's eyes turned to stilts as well.

"I didn't know there was somebody behind me-"

"OBVIOUSLY." The man yelled.

Deathley sighed, and let "the other girl" in.

"Happy?" Deathley asked.

"Yep. Now shut yer pie-hole while I listen to my music," The man snapped. "Ma'am, I'm sorry this rude gal almost closed the door on ya."

"Um, she didn't see me-" The girl replied.

"WHO CARES?! Let me listen to my music!" The man snapped, and started to drive the taxi.

"I'm sorry we're stuck with this guy." Deathley whispered to the girl.

The girl was a squirrel with brown fur and a shaggy tail. She was wearing a astronaut-like suit with a picture of an acorn stitched on it, and she had 3 suitcases with her as well. This girl was Sandra "Sandy" Cheeks. She once resided in Texas, but recently moved to Bikini Bottom in the Pacific Ocean.

Sandy giggled in response. This caused the man to look at the two girls, but muttered to himself as he went back to driving.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Sandy whispered to Deathley.

"No, why?" Deathley whispered back.

"I'm Head of Gryffindor at Hogwarts!" Sandy whispered.

Deathley was in shock. She was with another Hogwarts teacher?!

"Hey, guess what? I'm Head of Ravenclaw!" Deathley whispered back.

"Really?" Sandy whispered.

"Yeah!" Deathley whispered.

Both girls giggled to themselves, and stayed silent for the rest of the ride. Until...

"Hey, Sandy?" Deathley asked.

"Yeah?" Sandy replied.

"I have to tell you something." Deathley said.

"What?" Sandy asked.

"My hotel is coming up now." Deathley said with a smile.

"I didn't find a hotel yet, so I'll book at the one you're going to." Sandy said, smiling as well.

"OK!" Deathley eagerly replied.

"LADIES! YER HOTEL IS COMIN' UP! GET YER THINGS READY!" The man yelled.

Deathley and Sandy got their suitcases, and paid the man. The man drove off, leaving the two at the hotel. It begin to rain.

"Might as well get in," Deathley said. "No point in standing out in this rain like morons."

Sandy giggled, and entered the hotel with Deathley.

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	5. Good Times on the Hogwarts Express

OK then, now the story is really starting! The kids and teachers finally come.

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

The week in London flew by, just like that for both Sandy and Deathley. They had a lot of "hanging out time" with each other, such as going to local spas and stores. They also kept a close look at the calandar so they wouldn't be late for the Hogwarts Express.

Of course, they had many things in common: science, magic, karate (in Deathley's case she never did karate, but she can still fight), and much more. Sandy knew about _The Toonslayer_ TV Show. At first, Deathley thought Sandy would hate her beyond belief since she killed cartoons for a living, but Sandy didn't mind. Since Deathley printed out EA's list of favorite cartoons, and Sandy's in one of them, she never had to worry about Deathley doing some horrible thing to her.

* * *

Frankie Foster, however, feels quite the opposite. Since she never watched _The Toonslayer_ before and wasn't planning to, she had negative thoughts about the Head of Ravenclaw. Frankie apparently never saw that _Foster's Home for Imanginary Friends _was on EA's list of "Never-To-Be-Killed" cartoons, but assumed it was and kept a close eye everywhere she went.

"Frankie," Madame Foster asked her one day when they were both in the Dining Hall, drinking iced tea, "Do you remember what I told you when you were a small tyke, around age 6 or 7?"

"No, Grandma," Frankie said slightly annoyed. She was grumpy because Herriman had made her create around 100 sheets of sign-up forms for helping clean up Hogwarts. "I can't remember _that_ far back."

"I always had to tell you," Madame Foster said with a small smile, " 'You can't judge a book by it's cover'! You have yet to meet Deathley McClash, so who knows? She can be a little angel!"

"Yeah," Frankie said. At this point, she was even more annoyed. "Or she can kill any cartoon in this castle!"

"Oh, hush now," Madame Foster said while waving her hand dismissively. "Have you heard of EA-Insanity?"

Frankie replied, "Is he insane as Deathley?"

Madame Foster gave a small chuckle, and took a sip of her tea.

"No, _she _made a list of cartoons she likes to watch," Madame Foster said. "Oh, there are so many of them, and I can go on and on about them! She has many shows on her list, you know. She has all of my friends from other shows on that list, and that's why I like her so much!"

"Uh, thanks," Frankie said with unease in her voice. "But is our show in her list?"

"Yes!" Madame Foster yelled. "Don't worry your pretty little head about Deathley."

Frankie smiled and took away her and her grandmother's tea away, back into the kitchen. After her conversation with Madame Foster, she felt a lot less nervous about Deathley. True, Frankie still had her doubts, but she din't give them a second thought. Frankie was even considering making a friendship with Deathley.

* * *

"Oh...my...freakin'...god..." Deathley mumbled to herself. She rubbed her eyes in exasperation after looking at her calendar. It was finally September 1st, AKA "Back-To-Hogwarts".

She heard a knock on her door.

"Come in," Deathley said,

Sandy opened the door, and she was standing in the doorway, with a worried look on her face.

"Deathley," Sandy said with a concerned tone of voice, "It's the first day of September! We have to go to King's Cross!"

"I know, I know," Deathley said. "Keep your tail on. I just came out of my shower. Did you take one?"

"Yeah!" Sandy yelled.

"OK, good," Deathley said. "All we have to do is pack-up, and go to that platform…and eat breakfast on the train."

Sandy swiftly nodded, and ran back to her room. In about 15 minutes, both girls were packed up and ready to go. They were both only 2 blocks away from King's Cross Station, so they ran with all their strength, and finally reached Platform ¾. They both went through the barriers 9 and 10, and entered the Hogwarts Express.

"Wow," the train conductor said. "You ladies came a bit early, don't you think?"

"It's nine forty-five," Sandy muttered, looking at her clock. "Does the train leave at ten o'clock?"

"No, _eleven_ o'clock is when the train takes off," the train conductor said with a hearty laugh. Deathley glared daggers at him, but he didn't notice. "You two came an hour early, which isn't a big deal. Besides, the students were told to be on the train at least ten-fifteen."

"Where do us Head of Houses sit?" Deathley said with a snippy tone of voice.

"_Way_ in the back," the train conductor. Then he pointed. "You see where that yellow sponge and the black cat are sitting? You two go there."

Deathley and Sandy were about to start walking when the train conductor yelled.

"HEY! Which houses are you two leading?"

"Ravenclaw," Deathley said.

"Gryffindor," Sandy said.

"Very well," the train conductor.

Deathley and Sandy started walking quickly to the last car of the train. That car contained the Heads of Houses.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Sandy asked.

"SANDY!!" a squeaky voice yelled.

This squeaky voice belonged to no one other than SpongeBob SquarePants himself. He had sky blue eyes, yellow skin, buck-teeth, a square body with lots of holes, and freckles. He was wearing a white shirt with a red necktie, brown pants that had a belt, and black shoes along with socks that had red and blue stripes on them.

"SpongeBob?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah!" SpongeBob yelled, and he ran up to hug Sandy. She slightly blushed.

"Oh, get a room, you two," said a voice with a heavy New York accent. This caused Sandy to give him an annoyed look, along with SpongeBob. He was a black cat with yellow eyes and very tall,stiff ears. His name was Mr. Blik.

SpongeBob broke the hug with Sandy, and sat down in his chair at the table. The table itself had the Hogwarts logo on it, and nothing more. Deathley shot Blik a look.

"Oh," Deathley said with fake surprise, "Are you a Head? I swear you were a student, since you're so damn short!"

SpongeBob laughed with his trademark high-pitched voice, and Sandy had a small giggle.

"Very funny, you little…" Blik said with anger, but stopped short when he saw Deathley in proper light. Since the sun was still slowly rising, the whole car for the Heads was rather dim, but now it was normally luminated, Blik saw Deathley, and he felt sweat drip down from his head.

_What a hottie, _Blik thought. _But_ _what about Katilda? Oh, screw her! This girl's **my** type!_

(A/N: Sorry, Blik/Katilda fans. No offense.)

"Little _what?_" Deathley asked, annoyed.

"Little…comedian?" Blik responded.

"Good enough for me," Deathley mumbled, while sitting down, next to Blik. This made him sweat even more. Only Sandy noticed this.

"Are you warm, Blik?" Sandy asked. "You're sweating like crazy."

"I'm fine," he replied. "Really."

Shortly after this, all of the teachers got their breakfast, and it was very quiet, exept for the occasional cough or sneeze.

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	6. Chatty Train

Hooray for the Hogwarts Express! And an update! And an un-needed sentence ending with an exclamation point!

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

Soon enough, the students started getting on the car of the train they all shared. It was extremely loud, due to the fact that the students never shut their mouths. If you were a student and wanted some peace and quiet, you'd probably have to make a pair of earmuffs out of thin air, or sneak into the Heads car. The second choice could get a student into a big lot of trouble, for your information. Do _you_ like getting into trouble? Probably not.

The Heads, however, were at this time quite the opposite of their soon-to-be students. They were rather quiet, simply sitting in their chairs, randomly glancing at each other, and taking nibbles of their pancakes. At one point, the akward silence was broken by a certain female bat.

"All right," Deathley mumbled to herself. "enough is enough! Those kids are too freakin' loud!"

"Deathley, please don't-" Sandy started, but sighed as Deathley left the Heads car with a **SLAM!** of the door. She gave nervous looks to SpongeBob and Blik and they shot them back.

"HEY!" Deathley yelled as she entered the Students' car. All the kids instantly stopped talking. "Do you mind? I can't hear myself think! Y'all have three options…one, talk softer, or two, when you get to Hogwarts and after your sorting, you get detention, or three, get totally booted off this train!"

Most students began talking softer after Deathley returned to the Heads car. She nodded to her fellow teachers, who gave confused looks. Deathley sat down in her chair with a small but pleasant smile on her face.

"Mission accomplished," Deathley mumbled, along with pulling out a Potions Handbook from a nearby magazine rack.

"What mission?" Blik asked.

"The mission of the kids shutting the hell up," Deathley responded curtly. "you have _no_ idea what's goin' on, do ya, small fry?"

Blik's face flushed to a dark red. Half from embarassment, half from anger. Deathley didn't notice, since she was too busy reading her book. Sandy nor SpongeBob didn't have much to contribute to their conversation, so they did some small talk on karate and such, as well as the year's hottest Jellyfishing net models.

* * *

"MISS FRANCES! COME TO MY OFFICE NOW!" Herriman yelled into the intercom from his office. His face was sweaty and hot; he was nervous about the Sorting Ceremony. In about 2 minutes, Frankie came into the office with her normal clothing on. She was slightly out of breath due to running as fast as she can and the fact she was doing some last-minute mopping.

"What..is…it..._now_?" Frankie asked, while clutching her stomach.

"Is the Storting Hat ready to perform the sorting?" Herriman asked.

Frankie repiled with an tired tone of voice, "Yes. And the kids are even here yet! Why are you worring about it now? They won't be here for, like, five more hours! Give me a rest, please…"

Before Herriman can say something, Frankie slammed her hand on his desk.

"I've been cleaning for _weeks_ on end! This castle is so clean it can have 'Sparkly and Shiny' pouring out of the windows!" Frankie yelled.

"Miss Frances, please calm down! I will not accept such behavior-" Herriman said, but was (yet again) cut off by Frankie, who had a sad look on her face.

"Please," Frankie said, "I just want to take a break."

"Very well," Herriman replied with a small frown on his face. Frankie handed him the Sorting Hat and left his office. One she left, she yelled out a happy "BOOYAH!" and went to her room to rest.

* * *

" 'Get totally booted off this train!'? That bat needs to totally get a brain," a small blue blob muttered to himself. He was bored and annoyed by Deathley's scolding of the students, and was eating some corn dogs on a plate. This was Blooregard Q. Kazoo, aka Bloo.

"Maybe she's in a bad mood," said a small boy. He had a big ol' sqaure head with some light brown hair, and was wearing a red shirt with a white undershirt, khaki pants, black and white sneakers and had a green backpack. This was Mac.

"Co coco co co cococo," said Coco. She had a palm tree for a head, a beak that looked similar to a red deflated raft, a body with airplane designs, and sunburned legs. She spoke only with the words "Coco" and "Co". If translated into English, she said, "Or maybe she's a hot-head."

Mac simply frowned while Bloo burst in hysterical laughter causing nearly every student on the train to stare at Bloo.

"HAHAHAHA!" Bloo laughed, then he took numerous gasps of breath. "…That was a..good one, Coco..."

"Actually, Bloo," Mac said with interest, "since when were you into magic?"

"I like magic because…um, I like doing that sort of stuff? Y'know, waving a wand in the air…turning pumpkins into hot-rod motorcycles…have working paddleballs…and making huge race car beds!"

Mac rolled his eyes in his head. And for the next five hours, it was simply chaos on the train.

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	7. Fun with the Sorting Hat

Finally, the students get sorted…yay?

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

Soon enough, after the five hours of chaos (and a lot of annoying rants from Deathley), the train finally arrived in Hogwarts. Many students were eager to enter the school, but they had to wait until Mr. Herriman let them out. Soon enough, the students entered the small boats (each held up to 5 students) and they magically sailed across the small lake. Teachers and Heads of Houses, however, were taken via carriages lead by Thestrals.

"Wait," Deathley asked Herriman, "the kids sail on boats when we have horse-things with carriages?"

"Yes," Herriman said, some-what angered by Deathley calling the Thestrals "horse-things", "and they're called 'Thestrals', Miss McClash, not-"

"OK, I get it," Deathley said, ignoring Herriman's glare, and entering the carriage, along with Mr. Blik. He got a wide grin on his face.

"So…you like these...dead-lookin' unicorns?" Blik asked Deathley, with some flirtiness in his voice. She groaned in response.

* * *

"These boats bite," Bloo muttered to Mac and Coco. "I wanna ride in those cars!"

"Coco, co coco coco." Coco said with an eyeroll. Translated into English, she said: "Bloo, those aren't cars."

"Who cares? Anything besides these dinky boats," Bloo muttered.

"HEY! Do you guys mind keeping it down?!" asked a ten-year-old boy with a nasally voice. He had spiky brown hair, was wearing a pink shirt with blue pants, a pink hat and had huge buck-teeth with an uncanny resemblance to a beaver's. This was Timmy Turner.

"Why?" Bloo asked with anger.

"Because," Timmy said, "I'm trying to talk to a girl I like. _So don't screw it up!_ "

This girl was ten-years-old as well. She was Asian-American with long, raven black hair, a purple sweater with a white skirt, along with some white boots. She was taller than everyone on the boat. This was Trixie Tang.

"Heya, Trixie," Timmy said, "Isn't this a great boat trip?"

"Don't talk to me, loser," Trixie said, irritated.

Timmy pouted and crossed his arms. Bloo was quietly giggling to himself after that conversation. Timmy glared at him but Bloo didn't notice.

"Hey," Mac said, pointing towards Hogwarts, "Isn't that Hogwarts?"

"Duh!" Timmy and Bloo repiled at the same time. Trixie wasn't paying attention, staring at the lake. Coco was too busy drawing on an artpad she recently got from one of her plastic eggs. Mac glared at Timmy and Bloo.

"Thanks," Mac muttered.

* * *

"Everyone! Off the boats! Into the room here!" Herriman said as he got off the carriage he was sharing with Frankie. He pointed towards a dark dungeon where the Sorting Ceremony was taking place. As soon as everyone was off the boats, they were told to walk into the dungeon and sit at the huge wooden table inside. Inside were four smaller tables for each individual house (blue for Ravenclaw, gold for Gryffindor, yellow for Hufflepuff, and green for Slytherin) for the sorted students.

"Ah, hello, Master Mac, Miss Coco, Master Blooregard," Herriman said to his friends as they passed him. Frankie waved at them as they passed. "Master Mac, you may go first for the storting."

"...OK..." Mac said. He was nervous about what House he was going to be in. Soon enough, every student was in the dungeon and they sat down at the table. Herriman walked onto a stage in the middle of the dungeon. Everyone quietly stared at it.

"Hello, everyone! Time for the important Sorting Ceremony! Shortly after, we'll have the Start-of-Term feast!"

The students cheered and clapped.

"But first, meet your Head of Houses!"

The students, but not all, groaned. The teachers (excluding SpongeBob) frowned at this.

Deathley, Sandy, SpongeBob and Blik stood up in front of the entire student body. Everyone stared at them, waiting. They stared back.

"Miss Deathley McClash," Herriman started formally, "also known as the Toonslayer, is your Head of Ravenclaw!"

Since most of the students were fans of said show, they cheered loudly due to the fact a famous person was going to teach them. Deathley smiled at the students.

"Miss Sandra Cheeks," Herriman started once again, "also a karate expert, is your Head of Gryffindor!"

Students cheered for Sandy, but not as much as when Deathley was introduced.

"Mister SpongeBob SquarePants," Herriman said with less glee, "is the star of his own show, and your Head of Hufflepuff."

Students cheered even louder than Deathley was shown. She grumbled to herself.

"Mister Blik," Herriman said with almost no emotion at all, "has his own show, is your Head of Slytherin."

Students barely cheered for the Head of Syltherin. Blik was annoyed by that, as one can tell from his expression. As soon the Heads were presented, Frankie (in her maid attire) pulled out a stool and put a hat- The Sorting Hat- on put it on it. She walked off to stand next to Herriman.

"WHO'S COMING FIRST?" the Hat bellowed.

"I am," Mac said somewhat bravely, and some of the students giggled. The boy walked up slowly towards the stool, picked up the Hat, and put on his head, and simply looked on as the others watched him.

_Hmmm...you seem like a Ravenclaw to me..._the Hat thought. Mac slightly shuddered when he heard the voice in his thoughts, but luckily the others didn't notice. The Hat stiffened on top of Mac's head, and promptly yelled, "RAVENCLAW! Now that you've been sorted into a House, you may sit at the Ravenclaw table. It's the blue one."

Mac took the hat off his head, put it back on the stool, gathered his things, and went to the Ravenclaw table. The students glanced over to him, then back the Hat. The Hat yelled, "Next student, please!", causing it to echo in the dungeon.

"Master Bloo-" Herriman said, but sighed as Bloo took off running towards the stool. Bloo instantly sat on the stool, picked up the hat, and put it on his bald head. He was wriggling with delight on the chair, causing the Hat to wobble a bit. The Hat wasn't amused. "Please, stop that!" it yelled. Bloo did so.

_Oh yeah, you're a bit of a toughie...you should go to Slytherin since you're a bit cunning, but you should go to Ravenclaw since you tend to have creativity and sarcastic wit. And, despite many fights you've won in the past, you're not a prime example of Gryffindor.Hufflepuff, well, you seem to lack hard work skills, but you do believe in fair play and friendship...OK, I've decided! _The Hat thought, his words ringing in Bloo's mind.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the Hat yelled. Bloo grinned and went to the Hufflepuff table. He had a rather smug grin on his face for pretty much no reason at all. Possibly since he was the first sorted Hufflepuff student. But the grin may lose its smugness soon enough when Bloo will realize that Mac won't be in the same House.

"Miss Coco," Herriman said. Coco got up, walked over to the stool, and put the Hat on her head. The Hat stiffened as he read Coco's mind. She listened carefully as he spoke in her mind.

_No trace of Slytherin is your personality. Gryffindor, despite your boldness, you're not quite that type, not to be rude...Hufflepuff? Yes, you work hard, fair to others, and friendship you master, so you may possibly go to said House. Ravenclaw! Wow, you're very creative and intelligent, and you've had success in some realtions..._

"Hmm...RAVENCLAW!" the Hat yelled, letting Coco sit with Mac at the Ravenclaw table. He slid over further down the table so she can sit down. Coco whipped out her artpad from earlier so she can resume drawing. Hey, nobody said you have to pay attention when people get sorted.

"Coco co coco," Coco muttered to Mac with a bored tone of voice, "_coco _coco". Translated into English: "That was easy, _very_ easy." Mac nodded his head "yes" as he looked at Coco's artpad.

"Master Timothy," Herriman yelled. Timmy went up the stool and put the Hat on his head. He didn't take off his hat, hoping that Hat wouldn't notice. Unfortunatly, it did. The Hat's face frowned.

_Hey! Take off that retched pink hat of yours so I can read your mind!_

Timmy took off the Sorting Hat, set it on the ground, put his pink hat on the ground as well, and picked up the Sorting Hat with an annoyed face.

_Much better. Thank you. Now...you seem to be rude and impolite to be others at times, causing a chance of you in Slytherin. Hufflepuff...well, you used to be a hard worker as far as your memories go, but you seem to lack it. But you believe in fair play and friendship. Ravenclaw? Well...you tend to be thick-headed, but you **are** kind of creative. Gryffindor! You are brave, but not an example of it. I've chosen..._

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the Hat yelled, as Timmy set it down on the stool, got his own hat, and went to the Hufflepuff table, where he sat down next to Bloo, whose smug grin was stil on his face. Timmy rolled his eyes in his head, from annoyance.

"I'm the first Hufflething," Bloo said with proudness.

"Congrats. You want a cookie or a medal?" Timmy asked. Bloo simply stuck out his tongue at him. Herriman must have notcied this because he then said, "Master Blooregard, stop that."

And for the next two hours, all the House tables slowly filled up with students.

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	8. Potions Class Rocks My Socks

…OK, I just want to point something out: **it's my story; I do what I want with it**. I just wanted people who were surprised by the "Mac and Bloo not in the same House" story twist to see this message. Not directed to anyone, just talking in general.

Never-the-less, enjoy Deathley's first Potions lesson, which has mass amounts of nuttiness. :-)

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Coca-Cola © The Coca-Cola Company and my stomach

iPhone © Apple Inc

Deathley © Me

* * *

After the students enjoyed socializing at the Start-of-Term feast, they went to bed, with anxiousness of their first classes. Some students slept in their beds like babies, some kept their eyes open all night. The Heads were just as nervous as they were in their bedrooms (which were in reality grand towers in close proximity just before their relevant House). 

"Miss Frances," Herriman said into the intercom, drowsily, "can you come here for a second?"

"Yeah?" Frankie asked as she entered Herriman's office

"Did you happen to give the students their House schedule?"

Frankie slowly nodded her head yes.

"Do you happen to have copies of-" Herriman started, but Frankie simply placed them on his desk and went to her bedroom. Herriman picked them up slowly and examined them closely.

"Hmm…" he muttered as he read on. The schedules for the kids looked like this:

**_GRYFFINDOR CLASSES_**

**Period 1 (9:30-10:25; Professor Blik) CHARMS (w/Slytherin)**

**Period 2 (10:25-11:12; Professors Foster & Urameshi) DIVINATION (Mon. w/Ravenclaw)**

**Period 3 (11:12-12:01; Professor McClash) POTIONS**

**Period 4 (12:01-1:45; all professors and Heads) LUNCH/FLYING**

**Period 5 (1:45-2:34; Professor Cheeks) TRANSFIGURATION **

**Period 6 (3:28-4:56; Professor Urameshi) D.A.D.A. (Thurs. w/Hufflepuff)**

**Period 7 (2:34-3:28; Professor Reaper) HERBOLOGY (Mon & Wed w/Ravenclaw)**

**Period 8 (4:56-5:23; Professors SquarePants & Urameshi) CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES (Tue & Thurs w/Slytherin)**

**_RAVENCLAW CLASSES_**

**Period 1 (9:30-10:25; Professor McClash) POTIONS (Mon & Tue w/Hufflepuff)**

**Period 2 (10:25-11:12; Professors Foster and Urameshi) DIVINATION (Mon. w/Gryffindor)**

**Period 3 (11:12-12:01; Professor Urameshi) D.A.D.A.**

**Period 4 (12:01-1:45; all professors and Heads) LUNCH/FLYING**

**Period 5 (1:45-2:34; Professors SquarePants & Urameshi) CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES**

**Period 6 (2:34-3:28; Professor Cheeks) TRANSFIGURATION (w/Slytherin)**

**Period 7 (3:28-4:56; Professor Reaper) HERBOLOGY (Mon & Wed w/Gyffindor)**

**Period 8 (4:56-5:23; Professor Blik) CHARMS**

**_SLYTHERIN CLASSES_**

**Period 1 (9:30-10:25; Professor Blik) CHARMS (w/Gryffindor)**

**Period 2 (10:25-11:12; Professor Reaper) HERBOLOGY**

**Period 3 (11:12-12:01; Professors Foster & Urameshi) DIVINATION**

**Period 4 (12:01-1:45; all professors and Heads) LUNCH/FLYING **

**Period 5 (1:45-2:34; Professor McClash) POTIONS **

**Period 6 (2:34-3:28; Professor Cheeks) TRANSFIGURATION (w/Ravenclaw)**

**Period 7 (3:28-4:56; Professor Urameshi) D.A.DA. (Mon, Tue, Wed and Fri. w/Hufflepuff)**

**Period 8 (4:56-5:23; Professors SquarePants & Urameshi) CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES (Tue & Thurs w/Gryffindor)**

**_HUFFLEPUFF CLASSES_**

**Period 1 (9:30-10:25; Professor Reaper) HERBOLOGY**

**Period 2 (10:25-11:12; Professor McClash) POTIONS (Mon & Tue w/Ravenclaw)**

**Period 3 (11:12-12:01; Professor Cheeks) TRANSFIGURATION**

**Period 4 (12:01-1:45; all professors and Heads) LUNCH/FLYING**

**Period 5 (1:45-2:34; Professor Blik) CHARMS**

**Period 6 (2:34-3:28; Professor Urameshi) D.A.D.A. (Thurs. w/Gryffindor)**

**Period 7 (3:28-4:56; Professor Urameshi) D.A.DA. (Mon, Tue, Wed and Fri. w/Slytherin) **

**Period 8 (4:56-5:23; Professors Foster & Urameshi) DIVINATION**

After Herriman read all the schedules, he instantly got up from his desk and ran to his room for some deserved shut eye.

* * *

After the eventful first day, classes begun. After nine-thirty, which all students were showered, ate breakfast (according to Herriman, it's mandatory to shower before going to the Grand Hall for breakfast, much to the irratation of many) and their first period teachers picked them up. Since the story focuses mainly on Deathley and the Ravenclaws, we'll watch their Monday Potions class with the Hufflepuffs. It's a long one, so you might as well get something to chow down on...and get me a bottle of Coca-Cola, while you're at it, fool!

* * *

"Will you all _shut the hell up_?!" Deathley yelled over chatting Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. They listened to their Professor and sat at their particular House desks, which were made out of polished, painted over yellow wood with a black cloth over it for the Hufflepuffs, and polished gray wood with a blue cover for the Ravenclaws. There were six tables for each house, which had room for only four students, meaning that there is about twenty-four students in the class. Deathley looked around with awareness incase some didn't hear…or _care_, for that matter.

"All righty then," Deathley said, clapping her hands once so everyone heard her. "Get those _huge_ ol' cauldrons out, thank you very much."

The students listened and got their immense, heavy cauldrons out, and put the on the desk. Since it was lengthy enough to hold up to four cauldrons, and every table needed to have at least four students, it was easy to get everything ready. Deathley grinned a little as the kids grinned back.

"Good job! Let me-" Deathley began, reaching into a draw in her mahogany desk for a textbook, but was cut off as the door swung open, revealing Frankie (in her maid clothing), and a small girl who was standing nearby her. The girl, however, was standing in the dimness of the corridor, so it was hard for Deathley and the students to recognize her.

"This girl got lost in the hallway," Frankie explained to the kids, "and she showed me the Ravenclaw schedule, so I showed her here."

"Hello, everybody," the girl said in a fairly shrill, bubbly, voice that made Deathley want to rip off her ears and wings and jump out the nearest window. But seeing that she couldn't do that, especially in front of the kids, she simply gave a phony grin that, surprisingly, no one noticed.

"Hello," Deathley said, still with her fake grin. "You are…?"

The small girl stepped out of the shadows, revealing herself. She was a small rabbit girl appearing around six, with light-brown fur with numerous dark brown spots around her eyes and on her ears. She was wearing black robes with her Ravenclaw scarf, along with sparkly white gloves. This was Cream.

"I'm Cream," the girl replied.

"Oh," Deathley said. She noticed Frankie left as well, since she stretched her neck like a giraffe to see.

"Like, come here and sit, Cream!!" yelled a not-as-squeaky-but-yet-still-annoying voice. Deathley turned her neck over to see a pink, female green-eyed hedgehog, leaning on a Hufflepuff desk dangerously. This was Amy Rose, otherwise known to Deathley as "that crazy Sonic obsessed girl."

"Amy!" Deathley spat. "Can you _please _sit down?"

"B-but…can Cream sit with me?!" Amy asked whiningly, with a sad look.

"No," Deathley said annoyed. "Cream's a Ravenclaw…you're a Hufflepuff…didn't you pay _any_ attention to the Sorting Hat when he was trying to put you in a house?!"

Amy sighed and sat back in her seat, with her arms folded. Deathley rolled her eyes in her head, and pointed a seat to Cream, one near her friend, Miles "Tails" Prower. Deathley went back to her desk, and sat in her chair.

"Sit there, please," Deathley said. "Now, sorry for that little interruption, kids…get out your textbooks-those weird looking ones with a cauldron on them- and flip to page three, they'll give you an introduction about magic and potions-"

"Wait a minute," Bloo said, with a look from his Hufflepuff table. "You said, 'magic and potions'? That's weird!"

"You think that's weird?" Deathley asked. "Well, go to this one site that has stories made by crazed-up nutjobs and see on almost every page of the site, a _flippin'_ 'Aladdin' parody…you might as well throw in a 'Pirates of the Caribbean' spoof or two…with the occasional 'The Lion King' wanna-be to spice things up, and this girl who tells you for no reason: 'Congratulations, you've been selected to recieve a free Apple iPhone™!' Damn."

The students were beyond dumbfounded at this statement. Deathley ignored their looks and pulled out her textbook. She flipped to page three and read it a little. She picked up her head to see that the students were staring at her with big eyes. Deathley glared at them and muttered in a low voice:

"**READ.**"

And then she added with a sweet voice, "To page three to ten! Thank you!"

The students instantly got out their textbooks. "Bossybutt," Bloo mumbled.

"I heard that!" Deathley yelled, causing Bloo to yelp and get his book out.

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	9. Potions Class Now Rocks My Boxers

Yes people, I got kind of lazy with the last chapter, but here's the second part. More nuttiness! What are you doing? Just staring at your computer monitor?! Get reading!

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

After a while, the kids were reading their textbooks with boredom, since they had yet to do anything magical and fun. Besides the absurd beginning of Potions class, nothing out of the ordinary happened…_yet_.

"…Professor McClash?" Bloo asked, not bothering to raise his hand in the air, like a regular school student. Deathley ignored him, not glancing up for her textbook (which was really disguising a magazine on bat fashions). Bloo became rather annoyed, and began to hit on his cauldron with his arm. The students began to groan about the noise and poor Cream had to cover her ears. "Please, stop…" Cream muttered sadly.

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

**BANG! **

"PROFESSOR MCCLAASSHHHH!" Bloo yelled, utterly unfazed by the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws' actions, "I WANT TO KNOW SOMETHIIING!"

"_Stop the racket_!" Deathley shouted over the class. She then asked, "Now, _Bloo_, what's the _deal_?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Bloo asked, once again not noticing the others, who all groaned in exasperation (including Mac, who palm-slapped himself). Deathley's face flushed to a very light pink color, and muttered, "Well, after that…NO."

Bloo moaned along with clutching his stomach in pain.

"You'll live," Deathley said, putting the magazine back in the desk and getting out her cauldron. She added, "now, we finally get to make our freezing potion!"

"Freezing potion? I don't believe it," Timmy mumbled to himself.

Deathley got out the ingredients (for her, and smaller versions for the students in zip-up plastic bags), and said, "Who wants to hand 'em out?"

"ME! ME! PIICK MEEEEE!" Bloo yelled, violently flailing his arm about.

"After that little 'cauldron concert', bud, NO," Deathley said once more, and choosing Amy and Tails. Both got up from their seats and began to provide everyone their supplies, with small smiles that seemed to calm most people down.

_Wow! This diamond is, like, so cute_, Amy thought after she handed everyone their supplies and got her own bag, admiring the Sub-Zero Jewel with big eyes that looked like they took up half of her face. _I wonder if I can find one around Hogwarts and make jewelry from it_…

"Everyone got what they need? Good," Deathley said. "Let's start now. First, hook up that hose-looking thing to the top of your cauldron, and press the small green button for the water to flow in. Make sure it's cold, since we _are_ making a freezing potion, remember? Now, wait a minute…you see the bottle that says 'Shards of Mag-Ice?' Put in three sprinkles of it in. Put the 'Glow of Snow' blobby thing in your cauldron. Get the 'No Heat Allowed' jug and let the gooey lava pour in…it won't burn ya'll, it'll just leave a glob of red and orange on you. Good luck getting _that_ out of your robes…"

Deathley took a great big breath of air and continued:

"_Anyway_, grab the Sub-Zero Jewel and snap it in half, make sure_ all_ the sparkles and dust go in the cauldron. Stir it with the big wooden spoon, add more cold water, and you finished your first potion!"

_That jewel sure is nicer than anything I hav- Wait, why is that bucktoothed kid trying to snap it in half?! _Amy thought, panicking (one can tell by she her facial expressions). "Hey, Professor McClash…uh, _why_ are we trying to crack the jewel in half?"

"Because," Deathley said dryly, "if we didn't have it, the potion wouldn't work."

"I need help breaking it," Timmy said to Deathley.

"My pleasure," Deathley said, and grabbed the Sub-Zero Jewel and** SNAP **went the jewel. Amy felt her hopes shatter and looked on helplessly as the dust and sparkles went in the cauldron.

"What about this?" Timmy asked, holding up the two halves of the Sub-Zero Jewel.

"Toss them in the garbage," Deathley said, and went to walk around the room. Timmy did so, not noticing Amy's expression, which caused her to sink deeper in her newly-created depression. She sat down in her seat slowly and thought to herself.

_NO! My latest hope…my newest dream…my second-greatest goal…gone_._ Just_._ Like_._ That_. _Oh well, for now, I'll just keep trying my other destinies… _

"What's your dilemma?" Deathley asked as she noticed Cream struggling as she attempted to break the Sub-Zero Jewel. Tails was standing nearby, looking at the jewel.

"I can't shatter it," Cream said.

"Me neither," Tails said, shrugging with a small frown, "it was hard to break. I did try thought. I'm not an expert with these magical properties, Professor."

"You'll learn…if you set your mind to it," Deathley said, once again taking the jewel and **SNAP!**-ing it. She set the two halves of the Sub-Zero Jewel on their Ravenclaw table.

"Thank you!" Tails and Cream said together.

"You're both welcome," Deathley said.

Amy was watching in horror as she saw everyone break their jewel in different ways. Bloo broke his by hitting the jewel on the side of the cauldron like an egg, and just throwing the dust and sparkles in. Edd, otherwise known as Double-D, who was obviously a Ravenclaw, managed to saw his jewel in half and use a plastic cup to carefully pour the dust and sparkles in. (He got permission from his Professor to use a nearby dagger for the sawing.) His friend Ed, a Hufflepuff, however…well, this happened:

"Fear me, pretty thingy," Ed said, attempting to use "mind control" on the Sub-Zero Jewel, which wasn't getting anywhere, "I am your master! I command you do a trick, like the Cyclops in 'Attack of the Cyclops from Planet Finklegub' did."

The Sub-Zero Jewel simply lay on the desk, ignoring its "master".

Ed was in shock, and shouted, "OH NO! I think it's deaf!"

"Who in this class is deaf, Ed?" Deathley asked as she came to Ed's desk.

"My pretty thingamabob!" Ed yelled, pointing at the jewel. Deathley rolled her eyes in her head.

"That's _not_ your 'slave'…it's a Sub-Zero Jewel. Break it and make sure that the dust and sparkles go in your cauldron."

"The what?" Ed asked, scratching his head.

"The cauldron," Deathley said, pointing to the cauldron.

"That soup bowl?"

"Um, yeah, if that's what you call it-"

"Okeydokey!" Ed said, tossing said jewel into the bubbling cauldron. Deathley was wide-eyed. She slowly turned her head in Ed's direction.

"Ed," Deathley began, "you were supposed to break it!"

**BOOM! **

All of a sudden, something popped out of the cauldron: the jewel! It was split in half as if Ed _had _broken it correctly, and no dust or sparkles was in it. Deathley was in awe. She shook her head, gave Ed a wooden spoon, and said, "Stir it up. Don't eat."

"Yes sir!" Ed said with an army-like salute, and stirred it madly.

"…Good."

Amy sighed in disgust. _If anyone saw that, everyone is just gonna toss it in their cauldron now…and make this class feel more like a volcano explosion. Ugh! So bored… _

"Hey," an energetic young male's voice said to Amy, "can you stir the potion? We did everything else, so it's your turn."

"Huh?" Amy said, turning to see a Brazilian Spider monkey, Indian elephant, and an albino pygmy rhino. This was Jelly Trio; otherwise know as Lazlo, Raj and Clam. They were all smiling, and since Amy was currently upset, seeing someone smile caused her stomach to do a flip-flop.

"Sure," she replied, stepping in front of them, getting the spoon, and stirring slowly with a glaze in her eye.

"Something wrong?" Lazlo asked.

"You look tired," Raj said.

"Sick to your stomach?" Clam asked, with a worried glance.

"Allergies," Amy said quickly, not wanting to start a whole conversation about her mood nor talk. Lazlo and Raj must've not gotten the clue, since they still asked questions, much to Amy's displeasure. (Clam got the hint and was nice enough to let her be.)

"What kind?" Raj asked, nervously since he didn't want to get sick.

"Trees? Dust? _Animals_?" Lazlo asked all at once.

_None of your business_. Amy thought, but said, "Just allergies. I dunno what kind. _And_, I can't be allergic to animals since we _are_ animals! Me, a hedgehog; you're a monkey, you're an elephant, and he's…uh, whatever he's supposed to be."

"Rhino," Clam said, not too taken aback, since Amy didn't recognize his species. Almost _everybody _didn't recognize him. Some were intelligent enough to know he was a rhino, but they didn't know he was albino pygmy.

"And aren't you guys _supposed_ to be putting the other stuff away?" Amy asked, stirring the potion as fast as she can.

Raj shot Amy a glare but helped Lazlo put everything away in the plastic bag. "Sheesh!" he muttered.

"Don't be mad at her, Raj," Lazlo whispered with tiredness in his voice, "she's probably upset that she doesn't know what kind of allergies she has."

(Read and review)


	10. Lunch Time, Kids

Lunch and Flying Class mixed together is fun. And you get to see more insanity from the Ravenclaws. Ho-hum. _(Smells a flower from Cream's flower crown)_ Yes, Neros, she's cool as an iceberg. _(Dodges bricks people throw at her for that)_

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

* * *

Not much has happened for the rest of Monday morning for the Ravenclaws.

…

(Well, some students got bit by a pixie in Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. Long story short, Professor Urameshi accidentally hit his elbow on a jar that contained a rather vulgar pixie, causing the jar to shatter, setting the pixie free to do what its heart desires, and what I mean by that is, it bit anyone its eyes set on. So Tails got bit on the ear, Mac on the arm, Double-D on his nose and Fifi LaFume on her forehead and that's it.)

"At least the nurse gave us medicine…" Mac muttered as he rubbed his arm.

"Does my ear look OK?" Tails asked, pointing to the bitten ear.

"Oui," Fifi said with a thumb up.

"I'm stuck with this nasally voice…" Double-D said, easing the pain of his redder-than-Rudolph-the-Red-Nose-Reindeer nose. "I find it rather irksome."

"I wish the nurse had given _me _some more medicine," Fifi said, rubbing her forehead.

"Why?" Violet Baudelaire asked, eating a salad. Since the pixie ignored her, she didn't get bitten. She had black hair tied up with a ribbon, brown eyes and was wearing a robe with the Ravenclaw scarf. She was best known for her ability to invent machines for her use, and was only fourteen-years-old.

"He said that he was low on it," Cream began with a small frown, "I heard him say that when I was walking with everyone else."

"I bet he'll get more," Klaus Baudelaire said, looking at his pizza slice. Much like his older sister, the pixie ignored him as well, so he had no need for medicine that Nurse Leslie (yes, the male pink shark from Camp Kidney) was giving out. He was thirteen-years-old, and what a marvelous researcher he was. Reading books for nearly his whole life had many advantages for him. He was wearing glasses, the robes and the Ravenclaw scarf and had brown eyes as well.

(A/N: Yes, I know Violet is sixteen and Klaus is fourteen according to _The End_, but I have yet to read it, and **I only read the first ten books of the series**, so the events they may refer to are from _The Bad Beginning _through _The Slippery Slope_. No flames, please, ASOUE fans.)

"Yes," Sunny Baudelaire said, spooning some peas she was eating into mashed potatoes. She was the littlest Baudelaire, meaning she was a one-and-a-half-year-old baby. Unlike her older siblings, Sunny has four very large front teeth, which she uses to bite numerous things for her enjoyment and to help others. Of course, she wasn't really content with her meal. She did like potatoes and peas, but since mashed potatoes was considered "limp" food in her case, she wasn't enjoying her meal, but since she had peas with it, it made the meal more bearable for her. Since she was only a tot, Mr. Herriman didn't allow her eating hard foods- her _favorite _foods- in the Grand Hall, since he worried she'll choke, despite knowing very well she had teeth. Violet and Klaus did try to convince their Headmaster otherwise, but he didn't buy it. Sunny doesn't really count as a student, since she's young, so the only times her siblings see her is when they're in the Ravenclaw Common Room, and she does bunk in with Violet, Fifi and Cream.

"Are you enjoying your meal?" Herriman asked as he hopped by Sunny.

"Konjee," Sunny said, which meant, "I guess so."

"I don't know what 'Konjee' means," Herriman said, "but I assume it means 'I love it!'…if so, that's good to know."

Sunny blinked as Herriman walked off. Coco muttered, "Co coco coco co coco." to Sunny. If translated into English: "I knew what you meant." Sunny nodded her head up to show she heard.

"What _does _'Konjee' mean?" Cream asked Violet, who was sitting next to her.

"By 'Konjee', Sunny meant 'I guess so', Cream," Violet said, looking at her empty bowl.

"Sunny speaks only a few words of proper English," Klaus said after taking a bite of pizza. "we translate everything else for her."

"Marmaretto!" Sunny shrieked, which meant, "Violet and Klaus are correct!"

"She just said me and Klaus are right," Violet said to the group of Ravenclaws.

"Oh," Tails said, before drinking some pumpkin juice. After he swallowed the drink, he added, "did you guys know that we have flying class this period?"

"_Flying_?" Fifi asked.

"Yes," Klaus said.

"Ugh," Sunny muttered, and by that she meant, "A _flying _class…during the second half of a _lunch_ period?"

"It sounds utterly bizarre, you're right, Sunny," Violet said, nodding her head.

"Imagine the messes _everywhere_…" Cream said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Yeah, she's right," Mac said. "we should ask Mr. Herriman why he mixed them in the first place."

"It's 'cause he's _weird_," Deathley said, passing the Ravenclaw table. "That's why."

"Not really," Sunny said. _The only thing I dislike about him is that he won't let me eat meals for older people_, the youngest Baudelaire thought to herself, eating some peas.

"Who's our teacher for that lesson, anyway?" Klaus asked his Head of Ravenclaw.

"You're looking at her," Deathley said.

"Oh!" was the response from all the students. Deathley smiled and walked to sit with the others Heads and professors. She had a turkey sandwich and chips along with Coca-Cola waiting for her. She sat down at the table as Herriman was talking to Professor Urameshi.

* * *

"And that, Master Neros," Herriman concluded, "is why you should be more careful with student safety and pixies."

"I see," Professor Urameshi said, nodding his head up and down.

"Who's teaching Flying?" Sandy asked, after drinking her tea.

"Me," Deathley said after swallowing her sandwich.

"Ms. McClash," Herriman asked after eating some soup, "are you sure you wish to teach that lesson?"

"I'm prepared," Deathley said, pointing to her leathery jet-black wings with determination sparkling in her ocean blue eyes. "Seriously. I am."

"Well…if you do want to," Herriman mumbled, "then by all means, be ready."

"Did you know you've got nice, black wings? The same color as my fur," Blik asked Deathley in a love-struck state. Deathley only groaned in response.

* * *

At the Hufflepuff table…

Amy was staring at her pasta and butter with sadness, forking it occasionally. Ever since that "sad sight" of seeing the Sub-Zero Jewels being snapped in half by numerous Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws made her lose her appetite. She ate the food incase she thought Herriman would pass by and scold her for not eating her dinner and "wasting meals".

"Something wrong?" Lazlo asked Amy, looking at her funny.

"I told you," Amy grumbled, "it's allergies."

"Did you find out what kind?"

"No."

"You should. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll have an allergic reaction to something and it could make you si-" Raj explained, but was cut off as Amy picked up her food and moved down the table.

"Eh?" Clam muttered. He said to Raj, "No allergies."

"Not _you_, Clam," Raj said, "that moody girl."

"Her name is Moody?" Lazlo asked, raising an eyebrow, and nibbling a slice of banana bread.

"No, it meant she's sort of…grumpy, Lazlo."

"Oh. Well…maybe we should be nice to her…and maybe when she's in a good enough mood, we'll get her to go to Nurse Leslie to find out her allergies!" Lazlo said, almost shouting. "Actually…"

Before Raj or Clam could ask, Lazlo got up and started to launch his "plan" on how to make Amy improve her mood. Unfortunately for him, he had no idea his "plan" would fail terribly. (OK, not terribly, but you get the picture, do you? Good.) As soon as Amy saw Lazlo's tail at the corner of her eye, she grabbed it, yanked him powerfully and let him go, causing him to land on the ground of the Grand Hall, and a few chunk of Slytherins laughed at him. Luckily for him, he didn't break bones or anything serious. Also, Professor Urameshi was walking by at the time, trying to get a cup of water from the fountain.

"Five points from Slytherin!" Professor Urameshi yelled, and said to the Slytherin students with anger, "you all should be ashamed of yourselves, laughing at an innocent student."

"Uhh…" Mindy (yes, the snob from Endsville) said, trying to make a fib, which wasn't going too well, "we weren't laughing at the monkey boy…"

"If you weren't laughing at Lazlo," Sandy said, walking over to the Slytherin table, folding her arms, "then what were you having a blissful old time about, _Mindy_?"

"…About how I'm going to be a big, famous movie star one day!" Mindy shouted. Other Slythrins didn't want to get in trouble, so they went along with it. They said agreements about the statement, until they were dead silent.

"Yeah, and I'm the President of the United States," Professor Urameshi said sarcastically, and walked off.

"Just for that," Sandy said, "five more points from Slytherin!"

With that, she walked off.

"Nice going, Mindy," a male student muttered.

(Read and review.)


	11. Broomstick Mishaps

Yes, time for Flying! Beware of flying broomsticks! They may hit your head!

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

* * *

"All right, you magic learning whatever-cartoon-you're-from students," Deathley began, raising her finger high in the air, "time for Flying. Don't even _think_ about blaming me if you throw up, since we all just had lunch…"

The students groaned, along with the nasty thought of vomit in their heads. "I don't want to fly!" Mindy yelled, annoyed. She then added, "It'll mess up my beautiful orange hair."

"You're going to, Carrot Top," Deathley said, filing her claws, "one way or another. So…any questions?"

"When's the second season of _Toonslayer_ going on TV?!" Timmy shouted.

"Be patient," Deathley snapped. "Does anyone_ know_ how to fly a broomstick…?"

The students (from each and every one Houses) just stood there, silently. Our favorite bat teacher said, "I see, you all have to learn it. Watch."

Deathley picked up a broomstick and once she sat on it, it began to float up in the air. And so, she pointed to the sky and flew. _Flew_, I tell you. _Flew_! _FLEW_! _**FFFFFFLLLLEEEEEEEWWWWWW**_! Sorry, got a little carried away there. Deathley soared into the sky with as much grace as a swan…on a magical broomstick. Totally. Totally yeah. (But that would be nice to see…a swan on a magical broomstick. I mean, c'mon!) The students looked up in absolute awe, and mind-numbing astonish.

"Wow, Professor McClash," Cream said, happily, "you can fly on a broomstick! Nobody I knew could do that…I can fly, too!"

Tails nodded his head in wholesome agreement. "I could, too."

"Show us all then, if you don't mind," Deathley requested as she landed. The rabbit and fox both took to the air, by Cream flapping her ears, and Tails using his tails. Deathley smiled, as she too soared into the sky with her wings. Tails took a quick glance at his Professor and raised his eyebrows. _Why does Professor McClash remind me so much of Rouge_? In two minutes flat, all three Ravenclaws landed safe and sound on the grass. All of the students burst into a round of applause.

"Here you go," Deathley said to Cream and Tails their own broomsticks, "practice on them now." The two children shot her a perplexed look. "How?" both of them asked simultaneously.

"Do what I did. Sit on top of them and point them to the sky."

With a wave of her wand, she pointed them to all the others, and they all got broomsticks. "Who wants to go first?" the teacher asked.

"ME! ME! MEEEE!" the world's most annoying blue blob yelled. Bloo sat on the broomstick, and began to blow his own horn. "Look at me, Blooregard Q. Kazoo, on a broomstick." Numerous students just gave him glares. Deathley had an evil grin on her face, as she did something to Bloo's broomstick, as revenge for earlier that Monday. "Ha! I'll be the first imaginary friend to fly-" When Bloo accidentally pointed it to the sky, he flew into the sky at the speed of light. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed his girly squeal, and Bloo and his ear-piercing scream faded away, as he vanished into the clouds. All the students slowly turned their heads in Deathley's direction, and she just raised her eyebrows at them.

In about five minutes, Bloo was hurdling towards the field, flying his broomstick in numerous directions. He tried his best to keep away from the others, by flying in the sky in circles only. "Everyone," Deathley said to the students, "go on your House bleachers, and watch you head!" Everyone ran to their bleachers (the raised stands they sit on when they watch Quidditch games) and kept a close eye around them.

Unfortunately…

Amy, who was running with all her might to the Hufflepuff bleachers, unintentionally grabbed Bloo's broomstick, since her arms were waving in the air to her friend as if to say, _I'm here_, she was now dangling off the broomstick, and screamed for help. "Heeeeeelp!" Amy's palm got so sweaty she let go, and was sent flying. Cream busted into tears while Tails and all the other Ravenclaws tried to calm her down. Sonic, a Gryffindor, said to Knuckles, apparently another Gryffindor, "I'll go get her!" Knuckles yelled, "Got it!" as he kept watch, and tried to calm down the others. Sonic ran with all his power onto the field, and tried to jump up to grab Amy, but she was too high for Sonic to reach. He got and idea and ran over to where he thought he could catch Amy.

Amy finally fell toward the ground, and Sonic caught her in his arms. But Amy didn't wake up. She just lay still. Sonic gently placed her on the first Hufflepuff bench he could find.

"I got Nurse Leslie!" Deathley yelled over to Sonic, and he sat down near the girl. One can see Cream, Tails and Knuckles running over to Amy. Cream's face was buried in her hands, while Tails and Knuckles looked at Sonic. Nurse Leslie took out a stethoscope and put it on Amy's chest. **Thump. Thump. Thump**. **Thump**.** Thump**. **Thump**.

"Well," Nurse Leslie said at last, "her heartbeat's OK, her blood pressure is OK, basically she's fine." Cream had now stopped crying, and her fur was a mess, now had bloodshot eyes, and a runny nose. Tails, Sonic and Knuckles all had smiles on their faces. "I'll just take her to the hospital wing. Bye."

Nurse Leslie used his magic wand to make Amy float in the air, wile he used his wheelchair to roll back into Hogwarts. Soon enough, Mr. Herriman and Frankie ran over to Deathley.

"_What_ on Earth happened here?!" Frankie asked, confused but surprised. "Yes, do tell," Herriman added.

"That Bloo kid's broomstick went nuts, and it snagged Amy on accident!" Deathley replied. Bloo didn't bother to defend himself, as he was too busy vomiting in a trash bin, with his broomstick snapped in half, lying on the ground. Frankie's face went blank. "Bloo's in _so much trouble_!" she muttered to herself.

"MASTER BLOO-" Herriman began to yell, but Bloo weakly made it over to him slowly crawling. "Y-yes?" Bloo asked. "You have detention for the **rest of the school year**!!" Frankie yelled at the top of her lungs, which caused everyone to stare at her. "Everyone else," Herriman said, "go to your House common rooms right this second!" Soon enough, everyone walked to their House's common room. "Master Blooregard, you go to the nurse as well. Me and Miss Frances will be following you."

"Will d-" Bloo started, but fainted on the spot. Frankie groaned, and used her wand to float him up in the air, and walked to Nurse Leslie's with him. Herriman followed behind. Deathley flew to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

* * *

Amy and Bloo were now tucked in to their beds in their own personal rooms in the hospital wing. Nurse Leslie checked on them again, and told Herriman and Frankie, "Blob Boy will get back to class first thing in the morning. Amy Rose, however, is going to stay here for quite possibly the whole week. Tell her friends she'll be OK soon."

"Fine," Frankie responded, running out of the hospital room. She had to cook dinner, and clean up with the volunteer student maids. Lazlo, Raj and Clam walked into the waiting room and stood there.

"Thank you," Herriman said to Nurse Leslie, and left as well. The nurse nodded and took notice of Jelly Trio, and asked, "What do you boys need? A band-aid?"

"Nope," Lazlo said, handing Leslie a card, "give that to the pink hedgehog." With that, they left to their Hufflepuff rooms. Nurse Leslie left the card in Amy's room. The card read:

_Hey there, _

_Get well soon! We'll keep you in our minds!_

_From Lazlo, Raj and Clam, the Hufflepuffs. _

_P.S. - While you're in the hospital wing, you should learn if you have tree, dust, or animal allergies. _

* * *

(Poor Amy and Bloo! What'll happen next? Who knows! Read and review! Also, I have a message…I'M **STARTING A STORY ON FICTIONPRESS**. This and _Deathley's Odd Rants _will be on hiatus until I get the first few chapters up. Bye!) 


	12. Head of House Bonding

I updated to be polite to those who were deprived of your _IMLT_ fix. All I have to say is there's a plot twist. Shocking. Surprising. And another sentence with similar meanings to "shocking" and "surprising" for the road. So just glue your eyeballs to your computer monitor and read to your heart and brain's content. Kthnxbai! (Translation for the non-Internet savvy: OK, thanks, bye!)

There's also a new couple thrown in here. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

Copyrights FTW! (Meaning "for the win". I'm such in an Internet Slang mood. Shut up.)

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

* * *

Amy Rose, as you may remember (or not) was recently sent to Nurse Leslie's office in the Hospital Wing, due to a freak broomstick accident involving Blooregard Q. Kazoo, Flying lessons, a defective broomstick, and the speed of light. It was possible she was going to stay in the Hospital Wing for a week, since she was swung around so fast and was practically shot out of the sky. Had her hero, Sonic, not saved her in time, she would've been injured seriously or suffer an even worse fate. But let's not consider the other possibilities. We'll just check up on Amy. 

"Amy," Nurse Leslie said in his usual monotone voice, only muffled since he was behind her room door, "time for your medicine." At this point, he opened the door and rolled on in with his office chair (the kind with wheels, which this author owns and is currently sitting on, ironically), next to her side.

Amy awoke the second she heard his voice. Her expression was groggy, and she freaked out the second she looked around the room. Its walls were painted light yellow, with light blue-and-white-checked titled floors. Her bed was the exact same as it was in her dorm room, yellow-and-black bed sheets, Hufflepuff logo and all. "H-huh?! What's g-?"

"Going on?" Nurse Leslie finished for her, opening his bag, which contained numerous supplies, and finally got her medicine, which she stared at with wide eyes. "You accidentally grabbed onto a defective broomstick that was flying at the speed of light."

"Who saved me?" Amy asked quietly, looking at the floor. Nurse Leslie didn't respond at first, only handing her three purple sleeping pills and a glass of water. She quickly took the medicine and drank the water. "I really, really, _really_, want to know so I can thank him or her properly!"

"That blue hedgehog, I forget his name," the shark replied, as he wheeled himself out of the room. Amy started crying silently and had a wide grin of happiness on her face. "Sonic…" she whispered, wiping away tears. All of a sudden, she felt weaker and fell asleep.

Hurrah for sleeping pills!

* * *

In Ravenclaw's Common Room, Deathley was rounding up the students. She had a clipboard and a pencil, which she used to check names. The children sat on the blue-and gray sofas, which held up to three people. The couch on the left of the room was currently used by the Baudelaire family (Violet, Klaus and Sunny), the couch in the middle of the room used by Edd (also known as Double D), Tails and Fifi, and the one on the right of the room used by Mac, Coco, and Cream. 

"So," Deathley said, "Herriman is letting us go on a hike with the others if we are interested. Are all of you in?"

Everyone replied except one said "Yes!"

Deathley nodded her head as she checked everyone off. "Any questions?" she asked, still not looking up from the sheet. A small hand shot up in the air, slightly trembling. Deathley saw it from the corner of her eye, and said, "What's your question?"

A quiet, sad voice replied, "May I stay h-h-ere, Professor McClash?"

Deathley looked up, with an eyebrow raised. Cream the Rabbit herself was currently shaking slightly with bloodshot eyes, messed up tear-drenched fur, and a stuffy nose. The reason she was so is because she was still shaken at the fact her best friend Amy was nearly killed in the accident, even thought now it was apparent that she was alive.

Before Deathley could respond, another voice interrupted her. "Stoworcram," Sunny said, which meant, "Stop worrying, Cream; Amy's fine."

"…I'm sorry, but what did Sunny say?" Deathley asked to Violet, who in turn translated her baby sister's sentence to Cream.

Cream's face went from sad to glaring, and Sunny quickly added, "Visit her?" to which Cream's face softened. She jumped off the sofa and almost ran out of the tower when Deathley said, "Slow down there, hotshot! I dunno if Mr. Herriman's gonna let you see her-"

"Probably not," a rude young girl's voice said, echoing in the room, "'cause Pinky doesn't want to see that crybaby. Boo-hoo-_hoo_!"

Everyone head's turned to the doorway to see the source of the voice, and this source was none other than the pre-teen Slytherin girl, Mindy. The girl was rather short for her age (but then again, so is almost every pre-teen living in Endsville), with carrot orange hair in a high ponytail, fair skin, and freckles. She was wearing the outfit made for girl volunteer cleaners, which was a light gray 3-quarter shirt with a picture of an orange cresent moon, a long, frilly dark gray skirt, and their House scarf.

Deathley was in shock. She literally spun around to Mindy, her robe slightly lifted up the ground due to it, and holding her wand in a threatening way. "_Mindy!_" she yelled, slightly red in the face. "You know that you shouldn't be here unless you get permission!"

"Why do I need permission?" Mindy asked innocently, which nonetheless made the Head of Ravenclaw even more ticked, "I'm a volunteer cleaner! Frankie told me that I should clean here!"

Deathley simply scratched her chin, waved her wand gently, and suddenly a scroll appeared in her paw. This paper was in Mindy's hand, so she gasped. "Give me the scroll!" she demanded, trying to jump up and snatch the scroll.

"Nope, I need to see your orders," the bat woman replied simply. If one worked in the Hogwarts Cleaning Group (**H.C.G.** is its abbreviation), Frankie and/or another leader would give Scroll Orders to volunteers, telling them what to do. They were color-coded, and on the first meeting, Frankie handed out a list of the colors and their meaning. I'll tell you them so you won't scratch your head in confusion when the Scrolls come up later into the story.

**-HOGWARTS CLEANING GROUP (H.C.G.) COLOR CODE LIST-**

**WHITE SCROLL (common) - **_**Clean-up the hallways.**_

**LIGHT GRAY SCROLL (common) - **_**Clean-up the Great Hall.**_

**DARK GRAY SCROLL (common) – **_**Clean-up the Classroom in the description.**_

**YELLOW-GREEN SCROLL (common) - **_**Trim the grass, tend to the flowers, and so on. DO NOT TEND TO PLANTS IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST!!!**_

**ORANGE-RED SCROLL (uncommon) – **_**Help the Care of Magical Creatures Professor with the animals.**_

**BLUE-GREEN SCROLL (uncommon) – **_**Help the Chef cook and serve the meals.**_

**PERIWINKLE-PURPLE SCROLL (uncommon) – **_**Help the Transfiguration Professor turn all the items into its original form.**_

**SCARLET W/GOLD INK SCROLL (rare) – **_**Clean-up the Gryffindor Common Room. **_

**GREEN W/SILVER INK SCROLL (rare) – **_**Clean-up the Slytherin Common Room.**_

**DARK YELLOW W/BLACK INK SCROLL (rare) - **_**Clean-up the Hufflepuff Common Room.**_

**SILVER W/NAVY BLUE INK SCROLL (rare) – **_**Clean-up the Ravenclaw Common Room.**_

Deathley smirked as she read Mindy's scroll. "Well, well, well; you weren't assigned to clean up this room. You used a color-changing spell on the scroll! You're supposed to be helping Chef McMuesli serve the food!" Deathley changed the scroll into its original format, and handed it back to Little Miss Carrot Top. She gawked as the bat yelled, "Ten points from Slytherin! Now get lost."

Before Mindy could leave, Cream's fists started to shake in anger. "Did you call me a crybaby?!"

"Yeah, what's it to _you_?" Mindy asked while glaring at the girl, with her arms folded.

This was the straw that broke the rabbit's back. Cream angrily snapped, "_I'm not a crybaby!_ Who are you to say I am?"

"At least I'm no carrot-chomping _rodent!_" Mindy retorted with a nasty smile that seemed to makes everyone a little angry on the inside. She took this as an opportunity to taunt the Ravenclaws, so she opened her fat mouth and began to think of insults.

"And you all know _what?_" Mindy yelled with a red face, "Ravenclaw House should be re-named 'Freakshow House'! Why? 'Cuz everyone here's a freak!"

The freckled girl pointed to the Baudelaire orphans and said, "You three are good starters. I mean, really! The inventor is so weird! How in the world can someone make stuff out of old junk? That and her hair looks like dead, rotting _flowers!_" Violet was in shock, and her face went slightly pink.

Mindy continued, "The bookworm can remember all that boring info in those mega-dull books! What do you need that for, anyway? To tell the world, 'Hey, I'm a bland bookworm!'? Besides, you have _awful_ taste in fashion!"Klaus began to glare in annoyance, and didn't say a word at all.

She took a look at Sunny and said quickly, "Big toothed baby who can cook. 'Nuff said."

At this point, Deathley yelled, "_END IT NOW!!_" Mindy only stared with a frown on her face.

_Enough is enough,_ Cream thought, running up to Mindy, grabbing her ponytail, and began to swing her around like in a hammer tossing event. All the Ravenclaws gawked in surprised.

Soon enough, Cream let go of Mindy the same exact time Mr. Herriman came into the room. In shock, he yelled, "MS. MCCLA-" but was cut off as Cream let go of Mindy in surprise, causing the redhead to headbutt the imaginary rabbit. Both toppled onto the floor. Deathley helped Mr. Herriman up, who was breathless for a few seconds, and gave him a chair to sit in.

"W-w-hat happened?" he asked, staring at Mindy, who tried to escape, but Mac had put a leg-locker curse on her.

"Mindy claimed that she was gonna clean this room, but she had put a color changing potion on her H.C.G. Scroll Order so she can taunt Cream, since she's upset about Amy being in the Hospital Wing. Cream lost her temper and attacked Mindy, and then you came in," Tails explained to the Headmaster.

Herriman sighed. "Mindy, just go do your duty, and don't come back here."

Mindy nodded mutely, and Mac took the curse off her. The Slytherin ran out of the room screaming, as Herriman got up, and said, "Everyone wanting to go on the hike, please follow me."

Every single Ravenclaw got up and walked out, saying goodbye to Deathley. Cream quickly ran up to Deathley and hugged her. "Thank you, Ms. McClash." The she ran out, with the others.

* * *

Deathley just stood there with a smile for a few seconds until Mr. Blik walked in. He stared at the bat girl with a smirk while Deathley gave him the same look. 

"How're you today, m'girl?"

"Erm…I wanted to apologize for the past day or two…it's just that I'm not really used to random guys hitting on me," Deathley said.

"That's fine," Blik said, playing with his scarf.

"Now that I think about it, you're pretty cool," the assassin said with a wink.

"Thanks," the cat said with the same wink.

"Yeah," Deathley said with a sigh. "Sometimes when I'm home alone, and when none of my friends are around, I get bored. I've always wanted a little company at home. Or maybe even a family."

"Can't you force your siblings to bow down to you or something? I do it with my brothers Gordon and Waffle," Blik said as if he were king of the world.

"Do they actually bow down to you?" Deathley said, turning her back towards Blik with her eyes closed, trying to hide her smug grin.

"Waffle usually does, but with Gordon I have to threaten to take his junk food away," Blik said with a laugh. Deathley laughed as well. Once the two stopped, they looked at each other, amused, lightly blushing. The two started to lean in for a kiss (ala Shrek and Fiona in the original Shrek) when Frankie appeared in the door way. The two looked at her.

"Hi Frankie," Deathley said. "What do you need?"

Frankie said, "Do you guys want to have lunch with the others?"

"Maybe later, me and Deathley are sort of busy with class plans and stuff like that," Blik responded, and Deathley nodded in agreement.

Frankie shrugged and walked off. The couple gave a relief sigh. The two looked at the staircase that leads to the dorm rooms and Deathley's private bedroom towers. Blik said with a smirk, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yes," Deathley said with a small smile. The cat grabbed the bat's arm and the two ran up to Deathley's bedroom to do stuff I can't even begin to describe in a K+ story.

Use your imagination. (If you _have_ one, that is.)

* * *

Haha, Blik/Deathley _is_ the main couple in the story. Yay. Whoo. And other celebratory sayings. 

I apologize if Mr. Blik is way too out-of-character here. For those who watch _Catscratch_, Blik has a small crush on a girl cat named Katilda. I tried my best to use his "Around Katilda" behavior for Deathley.

Don't bother to flame the two. I'll just ignore it and report you. (I have a good feeling it'll become popular.)

Hasta la vista, readers.


	13. Big Surprise

Wow, no flames about Blik/Deathley…? Cool. No need for flame protection, then. (_Takes off helmet and hides bazooka behind back)_ Um, I don't have much else to say. Except for copyrights.

Dine on the delicious copyrights, hot off Microsoft Word, with 100 less fat, 100 more nothing changed:

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

I'm lovin' it.

Oh, and here's a **spoiler** for those eagerly awaiting The Toonslayer 2: **DEATHLEY'S GETTING A NEW PARTNER IN CRIME!!shift1!!! And the new character's getting introduced later in this story! WOO!**

* * *

Soon enough, Mr. Blik and Deathley left Deathley's private bedroom, and boy, they looked like they had the time of their lives. The cat and the bat's fur were extremely in a mess, as if neither had combed or showered in a week. The two were having so much fun that they could barely breath.

"That was _amazing!_" Deathley said, grabbing a glass of water from the common room's mini-kitchen, and sitting down near the fireplace in a comfortable blue-and-gray armchair. "I can hardly _b-breathe!_"

"Me neither," Blik said, grabbing some water for himself and sitting in an armchair next to the bat girl. "I wouldn't mind doing that again!"

"Let's not," Deathley said. "And say we did."

"Works for me," Blik said, getting up from his armchair and looking outside, seeing Mr. Herriman and Madame Foster taking the students for a hike in the woods. (Obviously **not** the Forbidden Forest, for apparent reasons.) Deathley was about to look outside as well, but stopped abruptly as she clutched her stomach in pain and fell onto the hard stone floor with a **BANG! **

Blik left the window and walked over to Deathley to pick her up. "You OK?"

"I dunno," Deathley said, holding onto the armchair. "I just felt this weird feeling in my stomach and fell on the floor in shock!"

"Maybe you're hungry?" Blik muttered.

"Now that I think about it…yeah, I am. Let's go to the meeting in the Great Hall, they have food, right?" Deathley said, walking out of the common room with the male Slytherin.

* * *

The two reached the Great Hall, and saw the conferencing professors and Head of Houses. SpongeBob (Head of Hufflepuff) and Sandy (Head of Gryffindor) waved to Blik and Deathley, and vice versa. The two sat down in the middle of the two Heads of Houses.

"Let's eat!" Chef McMuesli said, making a 'come here' gesture to Mindy the Slytherin, who had a large chef's hat on her head, covering half of her head, except her mouth, which currently had a face of disgust slapped on it. She unenthusiastically handed all the professors their food, and walked off mumbling to herself about the chef's gross food and her Order Scroll.

"What's there to talk about?" SpongeBob asked. Sandy shrugged her shoulders, and said, "The students?"

Murmur of agreement from professors filled the hall.

Before Sandy began to start the topic off, Deathley let out a sharp cry of pain. All the other professors stared at her, with uneasy and fairly annoyed looks. She said sheepishly, "Sorry. My stomach's been feeling funky for the past hour, but it wasn't the food-"

"Maybe Nurse Leslie can help you?" Professor Urameshi suggested.

"Thanks, that's what I'll do," Deathley said before zooming out of the Great Hall.

"Hey, why can you help us with _our_ problems?" Professor Reaper (yes, the Grim Reaper from _Billy and Mandy_) asked.

"I'm a Professor, not a miracle worker," Professor Urameshi said dryly.

* * *

"Nurse Leslie?" Deathley asked, walking into the office. The shark glanced over to the Ravenclaw and asked, "What's seems to be the problem?"

"My stomach's been feeling out of the ordinary for the past hour," she said, clutching her stomach for the third time and giving a soft cry of pain. "I dunno why!"

"Did Chef McMuesli food poision you?" Nurse Leslie said casually, looking through his file cabinet for Deathley's health file.

"No, I didn't even _touch_ the food he made me for the meeting, Nurse. I barely looked at it."

"I see," Nurse Leslie replied after a short silence. He picked up a file and read through it. "Hmm, no recent major injuries were recorded in you file."

"I broke my left leg when I was six," Deathley said, going deep into her memories. "And when I was fourteen I broke my right arm!"

"I said _recent_ major injuries, not _past,_" Nurse Leslie said with a sigh. Before Deathley could reply to this, he gave her what appeared to be a urine test. She started at it blankly when he said, "Please use the test for me, please, Ms. McClash."

Deathley nodded silently and went off to the bathroom to perform the test. After three minutes, a faint toilet flush was heard, and Deathley left the bathroom, handing the test to Nurse Leslie in a small plastic zipper bag. He said as soon as the test was handed to him, "Come later for results. Get some rest and eat healthy food."

"Fine, thank you!" Deathley said, leaving the hospital wing area with an anxious look on her face. What would happen? Is she dangerously sick? Who knew? She wandered back to the Great Hall to announce that she wouldn't be present for the rest of the meeting; everyone said their goodbyes as Deathley returned to her tower to get some shut eye. She asked herself before dozing off:

"_What'll happen to me?_"

* * *

Not much later, the young bat was awoken by her Ravenclaws returning from their hike, preparing for their dinner; Deathley came downstairs too see the children with tired, happy faces.

"How was the trip?" Deathley asked, holding her stomach.

"Super fun, Ms. McClash!" Cream piped up with her brown eyes sparkling. "We got too see dragons, hippogriffs…and a lot more!"

Deathley chuckled as Sunny added, "Herriman was overprotecting us during the trip."

"Yes, we learned some interesting things like- wait…Ms. McClash, why are you holding your stomach like that? Are you in pain?" Violet asked, which caused the Ravenclaws to stare at her. Deathley said quickly, "Yeah…a bit of a stomach ache. C'mon, let's go to dinner."

The kids cheered as their professor lead them to the Great Hall. The hall itself was buzzing with noise, chatter and good smells; Frankie had taken over cooking duties for the night. (Chef McMuesli had walked into the hall shortly after Deathley left to test out her sandwich to see if the meat had expired or not, but it turns out it was poorly cooked; the chef himself had fainted onto the floor after just one bite. He's now in the hospital wing for the night, like Bloo. Incase you're wondering how he got to the wing, Professor Cheeks had teleported him there.) After the Ravenclaws got to their table, Deathley sat with the teachers to eat finally; as soon as she finished, she saw Nurse Leslie finish his plate as well. He made a 'follow me' gesture, and Deathley got up to follow him. For some reason, Blik went along, despite not being finished with his food.

"Why are you following me?" Deathley asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Incase you need somebody to pat you on the shoulder," Blik said with a smile. The bat smiled back.

"Sit down, you two," Nurse Leslie as soon as they got to his personal office. The two sat down in black, leathery chairs. "This may come as a huge surprise, so I got some tissues prepared for you two."

"Go ahead, tell us!" Blik said, holding Deathley's hand. She squeezed it back.

The nurse took and deep breath and said, "Deathley, you are pregnant with Mr. Blik's child! The baby will be due in June."

Deathley leaped out of her chair with joy, silent tears and a wide grin on her face. She shouted, "Whoo-hoo! I'm gonna be a mom!"

Blik was frozen in his chair with shock. **A baby? **What in the world? He didn't mean for Deathley to get pregnant. But there wasn't much to say. The baby was gonna come, and there's nothing he could do about it. But he looked on the bright side. At least he expanded his family tree. He said with a smile, "Amazing."

The two left the office, Deathley holding her stomach and lower back proudly, Blik giving his friend a small smile. The two entered the Great Hall once more to hang out with the teachers. Needless to say, Deathley and Blik had told all the teachers, and they promised to keep it secret from the kids.

* * *

I'm sorry for the short chapter. _Really._ I am. Don't hurt me.

I know what most of you are thinking, "**ZOMFG THIS BABY'S GONNA RUIN TOONSLAYER!!!!**" Well, it's not. Most of you should be happy for Deathley. She could teach the baby tons of cool stuff, like toonslaying (duh!) and numerous other things that I'm too lazy to mention. And yes, this baby's gonna be the new partner in crime for Deathley. When will the baby be born? In a later chapter of course!

**No flames about the baby, please. Keep comments respectful.**

Sayonara!


	14. Lurve in the Air

Nothing negative about the baby…? All right! And there's no need to send milk bottles/baby food/diapers, the baby isn't coming anytime soon. :-) Thanks to everyone for supporting the story. It really means a lot.

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game characters © respective owners

Deathley © Me

_(Throws rattles at people)_

* * *

The next day at Hogwarts wasn't anything special. Bloo the Hufflepuff and Chef McMuesli were back to doing work, while Amy Rose was still in the hospital wing, relaxing for the week. Her sleeping pills were helping her quite a bit, as she is required to use three pills every four hours.

_C'mon, somebody, visit me, _Amy thought, praying silently. Her prayers must have come true, as Nurse Leslie said behind her room door a second later, "Amy, you have a guest. They'll come in a second. Get ready."

Amy smiled as she sat bolt straight in her bed. She had taken a shower two hours ago, so her hair was well groomed, her eyes no longer bloodshot, and face bursting with happiness. She said, "Come in!" and took a drink of water from her cup on the end table near her.

The door opened, which revealed that…

…Lazlo, Raj and Clam the Hufflepuffs were visiting Amy. She gave a groan of disgust. Raj noticed and whispered to Lazlo, "I don't think she wants to see us."

Lazlo whispered back, "Of course she does!"

"Hi!" Clam said, walking up to Amy, whose face looked rather annoyed and bored. She said in a forced tone of voice, "_Hi._"

"Didja see our card?" Lazlo asked, with a grin, ignorant to Amy's exasperation. "_Yes, I did,_" the hedgehog replied once more in her forced voice. Raj asked nervously, pretending the girl wasn't as fiery as Hell, "Did you find out your aller-"

At this point Amy snapped. Her hands were balled into fists, and she was shaking with a purple face. She'd never been this angry. **Ever.** She grabbed her infamous Piko Hammer and held it in a threatening way towards the boys.

"**NUUUUURSE LESLIEEEEEE!!!**"

At this point, the Nurse wheeled in with his chair quickly, grabbed all three boys by their tails and yanked them out of the room, and kicked them out of the hospital wing. The boys all shared sad looks, as they walked to their classrooms.

"Was it something we said?" Clam asked as they were walking.

* * *

In a hallway, Sonic and Knuckles the Gryffindors were walking towards their next class when Knuckles stopped walking for a second. Sonic asked, "What's wrong?"

"Did you hear someone scream?" Knuckles asked, referring to Amy. She screamed _so loud _that half of the school could hear it. If you were close enough to the hospital wing, it was crippling enough to make you faint. Amy's voice was more piercing than usual, so it was tough to tell it was the hedgehog girl.

Sonic shrugged his shoulders with a no head nod.

"Get along to class, you two," Herriman said, hopping all the way through the hallways, scouting for troublemakers.

* * *

Deathley's second potions class was just as exciting as the first one the previous day. She was much more careful with the ingredients, as she wasn't sure about magic's end result on unborn babies and their mother. This time around, the class was now learning a fire potion. As soon as every student's supplies were out onto their tables, Deathley began the second lesson of the year.

"Erm, yes…to commence a fire potion, get four Dried-Up Lava Stones and put them in your cauldron-_ow, stomach_-and, like, put in the same amount of warm water as with the ice water from yesterday's lesson. Add the whole bottle of Sunshine Sparks and two bottles of Smoking Steam and five Blazing Bush Clippings to the_-OW-_ potion. Stir it for about two minutes and presto, your fire potion."

Students began to make their potions in their cauldrons with ease. Some of them had to ask questions to other people in whispers, but the Toonslayer didn't mind one bit. She walked around the room when she saw Ed the Hufflepuff having trouble with creating his potions. Again.

"Ed? Are you having trouble making the fire potion?" Deathley asked nicely taking a seat on the left near Ed.

The adolescent boy, however, couldn't hear since he stuck the wooden spoon into his ears and using it as a Q-Tip. "The what now?"

"I said-" Deathley began, but was cut off as she saw Ed pulling the wooden spoon out of his ear, with a pile of earwax on the spoon. "_HOLYCRAPDON'TDOTHAT!_" the bat girl blurted out, which in turn caused the class to look at Ed and Deathley. A few "ew" and "yuck" mumbles were heard. Ed stirred his potion, after seeing many people do so. He then slurped the potion with the spoon (the earwax fell into the potion while he stirred it) as if he was eating soup.

"No-" Deathley said once again, but was cut off as Ed's head caught fire, but it went out quickly, and many people could see his sooty face. His comment? "Tastes like chili."

Deathley stared, but then walked off mumbling, "Hopeless."

* * *

Speaking of Deathley, her personality has changed quite a bit since the pregnancy was announced. She's a little more motherly and timid than rebellious and eager as she once was; she's been a bit jittery, to be honest. (One moment the next day, she said "Hello" to Cream and Cheese, her pet chao. When Cheese accidentally knocked into Deathley she yelled out, "_OHMYGODWHATWASTHAT?_")

* * *

Deathley sat outside on a bench on the broomstick flying field, drinking some green tea. It was now a Thursday evening, and she'd been eager to get outside for some fresh air. She didn't stare directly into the Sun, as she could go blind doing so. The sky was a mix of vibrant purples, oranges and yellows. (It was all reflected in her ocean blue eyes.)

Mr. Blik had gone out to look for her, to break some bad news: he was breaking up with her. It seems that he thinks he'd be a terrible father to the baby, that and he still had feelings for Katilda, a cat from his neighborhood. He'd got a small bouquet of roses for our Toonslayer, just to make her feel better. Blik decided to take it easy on her however. Being an assassin with a temper, Deathley can snap on him like a twig. (Admittedly their relationship was more of a one-night stand, since in the end the two would probably break up anyway. The kid was the end result.)

"Hey, uh-" Blik began, but was cut off quickly.

"Let me guess," Deathley said quickly with no emotion in her voice whatsoever, "you're gonna break up with me since you'd be a crap dad and you still like that Katilda girl. But you still like me as a friend. And you have a bouquet of roses. M'right?"

"…Right," the cat said, clearly confused, handing the bat the bouquet, which she took happily, setting her cup of tea down. "How'd you know that, Death?"

"Being a celebrity and having famous friends that went thought similar events like right now gave me a faint idea of a warning signal," Deathley said, sipping more tea coolly.

"Ah," Blik said sadly, taking a glance at her hair. It glimmered like a gold bar found in the early morning. Blik reached out and stroked it softly for a minute or so. Deathley reached up and slowly took Blik's paw/hand off her head.

"Yeah, don't do that," Deathley said again, getting off the bench and leaving towards Hogwarts. Blik stared on. The bat girl couldn't help but feel guilty as she walked on. She had let him get her pregnant, and the next day they broke up because, in the end, Blik would probably dump her for Katilda or another girl.

* * *

It was now the second week of February in Hogwarts, nearing Valentine's Day. During the period of time I didn't mention, students and staff went along with their everyday lives with not much notable for me to report. (Well, there as that one time Ed turned himself into buttered toast and tried to eat himself, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about _that_.) In November, two cat/bear/rabbit hybrid children from Marzipan City, Chowder Daal and Panini Endive, had transferred to Hogwarts to take a break from cooking and learn some magic (seeing as their hometown itself is quite magical). Chowder had gotten sorted into Gryffindor, much to everyone's surprise – he seemed like a Hufflepuff – and Panini had gotten into Ravenclaw, where she fit in quite well.

Of course, seeing as Ravenclaw if the main focus of our story, they were in the lead for the House Cup with Gryffindor in second, Hufflepuff in third and Slytherin in fourth. (Slytherin's bozo students couldn't keep their big mouths shut, costing them a _lot_. At least according to a Gryffindor girl named Lilo Pelekai and her "dog" Stitch.)

Panini's transfer to Ravenclaw was a god-send. She joined the H.C.G. and cleaned frequently, and once unintentionally but amazingly got rid of pests, too. Why do I bring that up? Well, it's time for a FLASHBACK!

* * *

"_OK, group," a male raccoon said to his friends Verne the Turtle, Stella the Skunk and Hammy the Squirrel, behind a small Hogwarts hedge, where they were hidden. "We're gonna bust in that school and steal their mother lode of junk food! Soda, candy…and __Spuddies!__" Determination showed in his sky blue eyes. His fur was all mixes of brown, gray and black. He was short. This was RJ the Raccoon. _

"_You like your Spuddies, don'tcha, RJ?" Stella asked with an amused smirk showing her charcoal black face, her green eyes lighting up._

"_Why yes, yes I do," RJ said with the same smirk._

"_Ohohohoh!" Hammy said over and over, raising his small brown-fur covered arm in the air again and again. His green eyes were showing attentiveness. _

"_Yes…Hammy." RJ said pointing to Hammy's raised arm, as if Hammy were a student and RJ was the teacher._

"_Did you find a pink girl bunny for our group?" Hammy asked, peering above the small hedge, seeing Panini's silhouette in the distance, but barely. Verne, Stella and RJ took no notice of the approaching Panini. RJ was no doubt confused._

"_Did we, Verne?" RJ asked the turtle._

"_Did we __what__, RJ?" Verne asked back, acting witty, a smirk on his green scaly face. His brown eyes made him seem more intelligent._

_RJ rolled his eyes in his head. "Hire a…pink rabbit girl?"_

_Verne quickly ducked into his shell, pulling out a small notepad that is used for teaching young children how to write. He flipped through pages casually. "Nope," Verne said, putting the notepad away. RJ looked at Hammy with a raised eyebrow, as did Verne. "Why'd you bring up pink rabbit girls?"_

_Before a response from Hammy could be said, Stella yelled out "DUCK!"_

_Panini had arrived with a weed hacker! Her shadow cast over the four small animals._

"_Not another weed hacker!!" Hammy yelled, running away at high speed in the woods, with the three others following soon after._

_However, it turns out Panini wasn't chasing the Hedgies away. She didn't even know that they were behind the hedge. She just hacking weeds!_

* * *

Panini's arrival in Ravenclaw stirred up some crushes. Tails can't help but at least smile and blush lightly when Panini was in the room! He loved her food, personality and looks. He was head over heels with her. She was oblivious to it, sicne she was into Chowder, but she seemed less interested in him now. (Panini sort of got Chowder's hint…after the fifth "I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!")

And with the Valentine's Day Dance coming up, he was planning to give her an invitation to the dance. He wanted Panini to feel special on that day, since Chowder always ignores her.

* * *

I swear this chapter is as random as a Family Guy episode.

Will Tails succeed? Find out soon on the next chapter of IMLT!

(Suggestions for Gryffindors and Slytherins open. I'm low on them.)


	15. Melt Your Headaches, Call it Home

Just a small note: this is a romance-based chapter, so therefore it's going to be pairings-heavy. Read at your own risk, especially if you're a die-hard shipper of Someone x Someone Else or hate romance. I apologize if any of the pairings here interfere with your ohemgee-best -OTP-evah or some crap like that. Feel free to flame if such happens. If you do flame about Character A paired up with Character C instead of Character B, you'll only be proving my point.

Not that it matters anyway, since it's the final chapter! Woo!

(For reference, OTP means "one true pairing".)

Something copyrighted this way comes:

Hogwarts © JK Rowling

Cartoon/video game/book characters © respective owners

Demi "Deathley" McClash and/or other original concepts © Epically Awesome Insanity (EAI; NO TOUCHIE!) - yes, Deathley's real name is Demi

---

It was the morning of the dance on a cold Friday morning in February. Hallways and the Great Hall were packed as characters of all ages, genders and species were trying to find their date so they can get their invitation. You didn't need to have a date to the dance; you were free to go by yourself or not come at all and stay in your House tower.

The main reason why dates were so important to the kids was that four couples were chosen to be the Kings and Queens of the dance. The four couples were from each House- Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. They would then become Kings and Queens of the Dances. Originally the King and Queen pairs all had to be dating someone from their House, but in the end staff decided against it. In other words, if you were a Gryffindor you were free to date a Hufflepuff.

---

However, you could also date someone from your House. Speaking of dates from your House…

Tails gulped as he held a blue-and-silver (Ravenclaw's colors) envelope in his right hand. He could feel the sweat from his hand seep into his glove. He scanned his eyes all over the Ravenclaw table for Panini. (It was now breakfast, an hour before class.) He saw Panini on the far left end of the table, talking to Fifi Le Fume and Cream the Rabbit about the dance. Fifi was crying quietly, face in her paws and her elbows on the table.

"Poof Fifi," Cream said sadly, patting her skunk friend softly on the head.

"I feel for you, Fifi," Panini said, sad looking too. "Chowder rejected my invitation twice."

The skunk stopped crying for a brief second. "Oui, that happened to me, too. One nice boy ran off from me today…" Resume soft crying.

Tails' face paled slightly. Seeing a friend cry is one of his least favorite things (which surprised him seeing as he and Fifi never really talked much). He also felt bad for Panini, since one of her biggest crushes kept turning down her invites. What about Cream? Was she even considered by some others? Tails knew this was one of his few chances to invite Panini, but since Fifi was upset, he decided it was best to hold off until Fifi was too concentrated in her work so she probably won't even give a flying piece of dragon dung on fire about a dance.

Probably.

He sat down next to Mac, who was finishing up Herbology homework from Professor Reaper with Double D, who was sitting across from Mac. "Poor Fifi," Tails said casually, pouring some pumpkin juice in a goblet.

Mac looked up from his homework. "What happened?" Mac asked with an eyebrow raised. Double D did the same.

"Fifi's upset that she doesn't have a date," Tails explained. Before he could continue to explain, two certain squeaky voices laughed hard. Tails and Mac looked over their shoulders too see who the two people are. Double D could see them with no problem from where he was sitting. Guess who?

"Probably 'cuz she's a skunk!" said the female voice.

"One who always stinks, too!" said the other female voice.

"She stinks literally…" said the female voice again.

"…And at getting dates!" said the other female voice again.

At this point, screechy laughter echoed in the Great Hall. All heads turned towards the two jerks. They were no other than Mindy from Endsville and Mertle Edmonds, both Slytherin girls. Both redheads didn't seem to notice that a certain Professor Urameshi was standing behind the two girls. Wordlessly, he pulled the two girls out of the Great Hall by their arms. The students in the Great Hall could only hear certain snippets of Professor Urameshi's rage, such as:

"HOW DARE YOU TWO INSULT FIFI LIKE THAT! SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"

Or, better:

"I SHOULD MAKE YOU TWO WRITE 'I MUST NEVER BULLY ANY INNOCENT STUDENTS EVER!' ON THE ROUGH STONE WALLS OF THE DETENTION ROOM…WITH YOUR OWN BLOOD!"

And for the kicker:

"NOW, GET YOUR LITTLE PALE BUMS TO HERRIMAN'S – NOW!"

Scared squeals from Mindy and Mertle were heard as they walked off towards Herriman's office. Urameshi walked in the Hall not too long after this, although he appeared as if nothing had happened at all. He gave Cream a small high five as he passed by the Ravenclaw table. Low murmurs of chatter soon resumed.

Fifi couldn't take it anymore. She took her backpack and ran off towards Ravenclaw Tower, crying softly.

"Wait!" both Cream and Panini said as the two tried to follow Fifi. Tails decided now was the chance.

"Panini!" Tails yelled to the cat/rabbit/bear girl. Panini turned around on the spot.

Tails walked up to her.

"Will-you-go-to-the-dance-with-me?" Tails asked quickly in one breath, holding out the invite.

Panini stared on. "You're inviting…me?"

"Yeah!" Tails said happily. This was it!

Panini nodded, took the invite, giving Tails a quick wave before running after Fifi and Cream. Tails slowly sat back down. Mac and Double D were smiling widely since they were happy for Tails. Tails snapped back to normal quickly.

"Congrats, Tails!" Mac said. "Going to the dance with Panini…sounds nice!"

"It sure does," Double D said, raising his goblet up as a way of toasting Tails. "Cheers!"

Mac and Tails raised their goblets up as well.

"Cheers!" they said in unison.

---

Deathley sighed inwardly to herself, sitting by herself at the Teachers' Table. She was now six months pregnant with her child (she still didn't know what the gender was and she preferred to keep it that way). Most other teachers were still getting ready- like brushing their hair/fur, making lesson plans, and so on.

Deathley quickly pulled out a small bottle of a clear liquid that looked like water (and it wasn't the Truth Telling Potion), but obviously wasn't. It was a Memory Loss Potion she brewed up the day before. She now felt ashamed that a one-night stand was the result of her pregnancy and she and Blik had went and blabbed saying how great of a dad Blik would be and the two, ahem, 'lovebirds' had obviously changed their opinion since then. Deathley then decided to brew the potion so all the other teachers (since Deathley's robes are baggy none of the students noticed her baby bump) could forget all about this and help her ease the emotional pain.

When Chef McMuesli finally came out with the teacups and left for the kitchen again, Deathley quickly spilled a small bit of the potion into the cups of tea. It was flavorless, so none of the teachers would notice. When she was done, she threw the bottle out in a trash bin. She quickly sat down. She sipped some of her own tea. When the teachers drink their tea, they will remember Deathley is pregnant, but they will forget that Blik is the father and assume the baby has a different father.

---

It was now nighttime in Hogwarts. The Great Hall was now decorated beautifully. Numerous balloons with the House colors were tied onto chairs, tables or floating around. Each House had its own banner hung up. The enchanted ceiling showed a full moon that glimmered with a silver mist with the occasional cloud floating by. Stars shone brightly. Enchanted candles floated in midair. All the House tables became one large buffet table, thanks to Professor Cheeks. Professor Reaper put numerous Ravenous Red Roses around the Great Hall to make it more "pleasing to the eye".

This reminds me of one of Reaper's classes…

The Grim Reaper looked at his Period 2 class of Slytherins on a rainy, dreary day in December. Christmas was coming up, so students were chatting away about their possible presents and how they wish school was over already, and so on and so forth. Reaper slammed his scythe down on his desk to catch the kids' attention.

"Listen up good today, kids," Grim began, "because we're workin' with the Ravenous Red Roses today. Those things can really bite, seeing as they're…well…ravenous all of the time! So if any of you here end up losing a finger or two or even get decapitated by these things" - Grim smiled at the thought of a few kids getting eaten whole- "don't go whining to your Mommy and Daddy, Headmaster Herriman or the nurses how 'Mean Ol' Professor Reaper is not letting you know if you get hurt in class or not!' I did tell you, so now you can't complain."

Maniacal laughter from Reaper echoes through the greenhouse.

"Did you all get that?!" Reaper yelled as soon he finished his laughing fit.

Nods and scared murmurs filled the greenhouse.

"Oh, for the love of- WHY DON'T YOU LET THESE LITTLE RETARDS GET EATEN?!" yelled a squeaky male voice. The whole class turned around to see a small gray squirrel lean casually on the greenhouse door. His eyelids lowered over his bright green eyes in an annoyed fashion. This here was Foamy the Squirrel, this story's Peeves the Poltergeist. He was obviously not a spirit of chaos, rather a squirrel who posses the rarely inherited power of Squirrelly Wrath, which he often uses by bothering others and trying to get students to follow him by joining his Card Cult and donating Knuts, Sickles and Galleons to help build the Almighty Church of Foamy. Usually only Slytherins helped his causes. (His "owner" of sorts, Germaine, a Wiccan, works part-time at the Hog's Head.)

"Ah, yes, Foamy," Reaper said casually, eyeing the squirrel. "Care to stay with us or annoy the kids for donations for your Church of Whatever and only get a Knut or two for it?"

Foamy's face stayed straight. "Nah, dude, I just wanted to watch any of these kids getting eaten by one of those freaky rose things!"

Veronica of Dimmsdale snorted disbelievingly. "Yeah right," she said, rolling her eyes. "You want to rip us off for your stupid club - ARRRGH!"

Trixie Tang's Ravenous Red Rose obviously gotten too ravenous this time, and tired to swallow Veronica whole. Her wallet fell out of her robe with a THUD. A few Galleons fell out of the wallet.

Foamy gave a small laugh of triumph and lunged for the wallet and the fallen Galleons. "HA! Thank you for your donation to the Almighty Church of Foamy! Wooo!"

And the squirrel zoomed off out of the greenhouse, towards Hogwarts.

---

"Y'sure you fed all those danged Ravenous Red Roses?" Sandy asked Grim with a raised eyebrow. "Those things can get as hungry as a shark livin' in a pond with no fish to eat in the middle of May-"

"Trust me, I did," Grim said casually, looking at a Rose set up near the buffet table.

Sandy gave him a glance and walked off to help Frankie and McMuesli cook.

"I told you guys you cannot come here early!" Deathley snapped at Jackie Khones and Fluffer Nutter, a Gryffindor couple. "You two are gonna wait like everyone else."

Deathley had been volunteering to guard the Great Hall Entrance so no one can come in early. She sat on the stool behind the desk Mr. Herriman had put there for her.

"Oh, c'mon!" Fluffer Nutter said, annoyed. She was wearing a long red-and-gold dress with the Gryffindor scarf tied around her neck with a red version of her usual pink hair bow. She looked over to her date, Jackie. "Great. Now what are we gonna do for the next half-hour?"

Jackie made a Come Here to Deathley. She bent down on her knees to Khones' height.

"We can make it worth your time," Jackie whispered in Deathley's ear, pulling two Galleons out of his pocket. Deathley took them and stood up to her regular height, looking at the two coins in mock interest. Khones and Fluffer looked hopeful.

Instead, Deathley flung the two coins down the right hallway, near Gryffindor Tower. Khones and Fluffer yelped at the same time and ran off to the right.

"AND STAY IN YOUR TOWER!" Deathley yelled. Her yell echoed in the halls.

"Ten from Gryffindor," she muttered to herself.

"What? Why?" asked a nearby Professor Urameshi.

"Jackie Khones and Fluffer Nutter tried to bribe their way into the dance."

"But ten points? Isn't that a little harsh? More like…five."

"Urameshi, those two always get into trouble in classes. I can't tell you how many times they got detention."

"Wha…?! I didn't give them any," Urameshi said, confused.

"Because they must be good in your classes. They're little devils in mine," Deathley explained.

"Can you tell me one time?" Urameshi asked.

"Sure," Deathley said. "We made a love potion in class back in December. I told them not to drink it, but they decided to drink it anyway."

"And…?"

"I caught them making out under their desk. Their other two friends, Yogi Boo-Boo and Billy the Squid, didn't do anything about it. They just stared on."

Urameshi looked shocked.

"Exactly," Deathley said.

---

Fifi, Panini and Cream were in a girls' bathroom near Ravenclaw Tower. They were all prepping up for the dance. The bathroom was very rustic and nearly any sound in the bathroom echoes. Fifi was sitting on a stool in front of a mirror with a sink, being helped by her two friends, who themselves were already done dressing.

"Oh, don't be so down in the dumps, Fifi!" Cream said cheerfully and she clipped Fifi's claws for her. Cream was wearing a frilly sky blue dress around the size of her usual orange dress, sky blue stockings and dark blue Mary Janes, all sent to her from her mother Vanilla. The Ravenclaw scarf was wrapped around her neck.

"Yeah, Cream's right," Panini said, brushing Fifi's tuft of lavender hair and sticking a pale blue bow where Fifi's usual pink bow is. Panini was dressed in a magenta and fancier version of her usual dress with matching ballet shoes and a matching ponytail holder for her ears; the Ravenclaw scarf was also tied around her neck.

"Maybe I'll find another boy?" Fifi asked hopefully, eyes sparkling.

"Oh, absolutely!" Cream exclaimed. "Did you remember to bathe yourself in tomato juice?"

"Oui, oui!" Fifi exclaimed back with a smile.

"Great, then you should have no problem," Panini concluded.

Fifi grinned as she pulled on a strapless canary yellow dress, tying her scarf around her neck and quickly put on ruby red lipstick. She slipped into her white high heels.

The three girls finally left the bathroom and left for the Ravenclaw Tower, giggling and talking all the way, which echoed in the hallways.

---

Two hours later, the hallway leading towards the Great Hall was packed. Numerous conversations at numerous volume levels were going on.

"I know you're thinking 'Oh no she didn't!' but I just so totally did."

"Does this dress make my butt look big? Does it?!"

"Oh goody, there'll be tons of candy here for me and K'Nuckles and Bubbie...."

"Hi Phineas! What'cha doin'?"

"Hey Beavis, check out the fat chick with the dress."

"I sure like my monkey suit, yup…"

"SHUT UP!" Deathley said, the command echoing in the hallway. Silence. "Time to dance!"

The doors to the Great Hall opened, showing the majestic designs and Roses. Twinkles showed up in the students' eyes. Small gasps; "Wow…!", "How pretty!", and "Holy crap!" were the only phrases spoken.

And all Hell broke loose.

With numerous yells and screams echoing in the halls, the Hall quickly began to flood with students. Yells of "Ow!", "Hey!", "Watch it!", "ARRRGH!", "OH SH-!" and others began to be the only sound as students struggled to get inside, causing accidental (or in the case of some kids, purposely) pushes, stepped toes, bloody noses and bruised arms or even broken arms for the weaker folk, or – gasp – even torn dresses and tuxedos! However: The dancing, music, eating sweets, flirting, first kisses and general awesomeness? Worth it.

"Panini? Panini? PANINI?" Tails yelled over the crowd of yelling people, hoping she wasn't one of the few with broken noses.

"Over here, Tails!" Panini replied, her pink arm showing up in a sea of now violent students. Tails nearly tripped over Candace Flynn's shoes as he grabbed Panini's free arm and pulled her close to him.

"Thanks dude," Panini said casually as they followed the flow of students. She had now hooked her arm around Tails', causing him to blush heavily.

"I, uh, like your dress," Tails said, trying to get rid of the blush on his face.

"Oh, thank you! Nice…pair of shoes you usually wear."

Tails blushed even harder, remembering the fact he only wore his Ravenclaw scarf and no tuxedo.

"Thanks – sorry about it-"

"Don't worry…! I think you're cute just the way you are!"

Tails' face now had a goofy, love struck grin.

----

It was now a half-hour into the dance, and things had been running smoothly so far. Sonic the Hedgehog was behind the DJ stand, blaring catchy songs and requests from fellow students. (Hey, being the DJ gave him a good excuse to not be chased around by Amy, who's as lovesick with him as ever.)

Fifi sat down near the punch and snacks table, looking on sadly – couples were now on the dance floor, having the time of their lives. Tails and Panini, Phineas Flynn and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Sheen Estevez and Libby Folfax… couples out the wazoo.

"Oh – why aren't you dancing?" asked a male voice, near Fifi's left ear. The skunk girl jumped up in surprised to see Lazlo the Monkey Hufflepuff beside her.

"Bonjour, Lazlo," Fifi said causally as ever, playing with her hair.

"I wanted to say you smell pretty – is that some type of new girls' tomato perfume?"

"Er – oui! It is!" the skunk girl said.

"Oh, OK. Wanna dance?"

Fifi did a double take. "Now?"

"Yeah, why not?" Lazlo asked with a charming grin.

Fifi grinned, grabbed Lazlo's hand and rushed to the dance floor.

Tails looked over his shoulder to see Lazlo and Fifi had just begun to dance nearby.

"Wow, look at Fifi and Lazlo dance…! They're so good – did they practice?" Panini said, looking over as well.

"I dunno – maybe?" Tails replied.

"Arrgh! You stepped on my foot!" Fifi muttered to Lazlo; the two were twirling when it happened.

"Oops. Sorry, Fifi… I kinda have two left feet…" Lazlo muttered back, looking down in embarrassment.

Fifi smiled, attempting ignoring the pain (Lazlo stepped on her foot really hard). "Oh, it's fine. In fact, d'you want to get us some punch?"

"Good thing you asked, I was getting parched," Lazlo said as he took Fifi's hand and walked over to the snack table with her. Lazlo got two cups and poured punch into both of them.

"To us!" Lazlo said as he thrust his cup into the air in a sort of cheer, only to accidentally splash some on Fifi's dress – right in the middle too, making a large dark pink spot on her dress.

Fifi jumped back a few feet from her date and looked at the stain in horror.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Here, let me mop it up…" Lazlo said as he got a tissue and began to rub the tissue on the stain, embarrassing Fifi even more (some couples began to stop eating or dancing and began to watch them and some had the nerve to chuckle).

Fifi stamped her left foot (she was still in shock) so hard her high heel broke – "Oh, no! My heel…" At this point Fifi had begun to sob loudly and ran out of the Great Hall, towards the Astronomy Tower, which is open to couples that want to stargaze or want quiet.

Nearby couples were either horrified or laughing very hard at Lazlo, who was rooted to the spot with a look of horror and seemed pretty heartbroken.

"FIFI! I'M SORRY! COME BACK!"

Lazlo ran off towards the Tower, hoping Fifi would be willing to listen to his apology.

Deathley, who was sitting down with the other teachers at their own table that were eating dinner and desert, looked at the laughing couples with a glare. "These kids, honestly – you'd imagine their parents would actually teach them manners."

Headmaster Herriman looked over at the couples with disdain as well. "Point taken, Ms. Demi – I'd be a monkey's uncle if I found out the parents of these children actually taught their children decent manners, but the children apparently don't want to use them. Is common courtesy no longer common?"

"So is common sense," Deathley added.

SpongeBob, the Head of Hufflepuff, frowned. "Aw, don't say that – some people still do!"

"Name one person," Mr. Blik said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "Humor me, Sponge. I'll give you two Galleons if you find one."

SpongeBob jerked a thumb at Candace Flynn, one of his Hufflepuff students. "Look at Candace! She's the redhead with ocean blue eyes and a freakishly long neck! She has good common sense. Watch. You'll be the one giving me the Galleons."

Candace was dancing with her crush Jeremy Johnson, a blonde and an equally freakish long necked Gryffindor boy, on the dance floor where Sonic was playing some classic rock music, which echoed in Great Hall. (Pick your preferred classic rock band.)

"Wow, Candace…you're really good!"

"Heh, thanks," she replied, blushing.

"Wanna get a drink?"

"Oh, sure!"

The two walked over to the snack table, where most couples had forgotten about Lazlo and Fifi's argument by now. Candace, in an attempt to be cool, leaned on the table; her elbow landed in the punch bowl.

"Isn't this dance great? Um, Candace, your elbow is in the punch bowl…"

"I know, isn't that great too?"

"Do you mind taking it out…? Thanks."

Blik smirked, holding out his hand towards SpongeBob. SpongeBob grumbled as he handed the Galleons to Blik.

The classic rock music had now stopped, and slow dancing music had begun to play over the stereo, echoing softly in the Great Hall. The candles in midair had dimmed lightly, to set the mood.

"And now for the slow dances – couples, come on down!" Sonic announced into the microphone.

Cream the Rabbit looked around to see if any boys were willing to dance – Urameshi had danced with her in one of the upbeat dances before he went to eat with the teachers, and most boys were either too old, too mean, or didn't want to dance. Cream's big brown eyes casually glanced over to the snack table (which, if you can't tell by now, is proving to be very popular) where she saw Chowder Daal, the cat/bear/rabbit boy from Gryffindor. The boy was hunched over at the table, dining nosily on the pigs in blankets, much to the annoyance and disgust of nearby folk. Cream smiled as she walked over to the table.

"Hello, Chow–"

Chowder immediately turned around with a very annoyed look in his eyes.

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFR–" Chowder stopped in mid-sentence to see he was yelling at Cream, who looked grossed out (he was still chewing the pigs in blankets, some stuck in his fangs) and horrorstruck. Blushing slightly, he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I though you were Panini!! You kinda sound like her!"

Cream forced a grin on her face as she wiped off a few pieces of bun that landed in her fur. "It's OK…but I have to ask you a question. Why are you so mean to Panini?"

Chowder frowned. "She's always trying to hug me or kiss me or hold her hand or dance with her or –"

Cream frowned now. "OK, OK, I get it, Chowder…!"

Cream genuinely smiled this time. "But can you try being a little nicer to her, please? It makes me sad when you turn her down. She's really nice to me and Fifi Le Fume – by the way, did you see her?"

Chowder shrugged.

"Ah. Must've gone to the bathroom to clean up," the rabbit girl suggested.

--

Fifi's elbows were propped on a ledge of the Tower and her head was in her hands while she was staring up at the star-dotted sky with puffy red eyes, running make-up and her hair was even falling out of place. She snuffled as stared intently at the Moon, which was reflecting in her teary eyes. The skunk girl wiped her nose with her arm.

"W-well," she said, looking down at the ground, "P-Panini and C-Cream we're wrong…this dance was h-horrible…ruined the whole n-night for me!" A fresh round of sobbing broke out. Most couples had left since the skunk came crying to go to the slow dance going on.

Lazlo finally arrived on the top of the Tower, albeit huffing and puffing since it was a long run.

"Fifi!"

Fifi turned around.

Lazlo pulled out a small bouquet of baby pink daisies out of one of his pockets, tied in a yellow-and-black paper cone with a blue-and-gray bow tied on it.

"I managed to get onto the grounds and pluck these daisies, found a piece of paper lying around, put a color-change charm on it and the bow and came up here," the monkey said, handing the bouquet to the skunk. Fifi's jaw dropped, she quickly closed it.

"Lazlo, I-I don't know what to say…"

"Say you're sorry or not. If not, then I want the bouquet back…but you can keep a daisy or two," Lazlo said.

Fifi sighed, and hugged Lazlo. He hugged back.

"Sorry, Lazlo – I just wanted the dances to be one of my shining moments – most boys are scared of me when my tail begins to stink, you're one of the few that actually invited me."

"No problem – but I think people should be together for their personality, not what they look like. People would be happier that way."

"Wow, Lazlo - that was deep, ami."

"Thanks, I read it in a magazine once!"

Fifi's face fell, then shrugged. The two ran back down to the Great Hall to dance.

---

It was now June, and the final day of Hogwarts was celebrated in the Great Hall with one final feast. All the Professors were sitting down on stage, preparing to give End-of-The-Year speeches. Deathley was now the whole nine months pregnant, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Mr. Herriman went up first.

"What a grand first year for all of you; I was impressed by many of you in all types of ways: intelligence, bravery, workmanship and the cunning. As for the rest" - Herriman eyeballed the whole student body - "you'd better pray you don't get left back. Your Head of Houses shall speak to you now. Professor SquarePants, you go on."

Polite clapping filled the hallways as SpongeBob stood up to the podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Hufflepuff! You guys were the greatest kids a fry cook could teach the wondrous ways of magic. You got to spread your wings… so to speak, unless you're a bird. However - you can keep spreading them… with IMAGINATION!" As he said this, the sponge opened the palm of his hands and a small rainbow formed as he said the word. Seriously.

"I can go on, but I gotta give the others a chance to talk. Hufflepuffs, stay loyal!"

Cheering came from the Hufflepuffs and Professors. Deathley politely clapped until she felt water drip onto her legs and the floor. Luckily none of the kids noticed.

"Deathley?" Sandy whispered as Blik begun to say his speech to the Slytherins. "Are you OK?"

"Either I peed myself or my kid's ready - argh! Yep…it's the kid!" Deathley muttered. Sandy was in shock. The two got up from their seats and ran off the stage while Blik was still talking. Kids stared at the squirrel and bat in surprise.

"Of course, my kids wouldn't have gone anywhere with my grand leadership skills…" Blik continued on, not noticing.

Sandy and Deathley bumped into Frankie just as the redhead was entering the Great Hall.

"Sorry, Frankie, my kid's coming!" Deathley yelled out as she and Sandy ran out. Frankie looked shocked as she stood there, then began to run up with Sandy and Deathley.

"You two need to get to Hogsmeade and fast! She can't have the kid here, Leslie never delivered a kid before!" Frankie said.

"You're right! Then we can Apparate to London!" Deathley added before groaning in pain.

"Why can't you have the kid in Hogsmeade?" Snady asked.

"Because there aren't any hospitals there, and I don't think people deliver in St. Mungo's!"

Sandy sighed. "Good point - Frankie, let Herriman know, and tell the Ravenclaws what's going on in private, I'll get Deathley to Hogsmeade so we can get to London - it'll be too long to make the Hogwarts Express start up - and it's in the Hogsmeade train station, so...yeah, you know what to do."

The bat let out another groan of pain. Sandy gave a small smile. "Don'tcha worry now, we're going…"

The pair continued to run towards the exit that follows to Hogsmeade, foot steps echoing in the halls.

---

"What do you mean Ms. Demi is _expecting?_" Herriman asked as Frankie told him the news outside of the Great Hall.

"Exactly that - her kid was ready!" Frankie said exasperatedly.

"Where is she and Ms. Sandra?"

"They left to go to Hogsmeade to Apparate to London. You should've put down Hogwarts' Anti-Apparate charms for them!"

"Absolutely not, Ms. Frances. You know quite well that they're used for protecting us from potential break-ins from criminals or worse -"

Frankie groaned. "Not for the whole day - just for a minute!"

Herriman shook his head. "I refuse to go against the ground rules. They should've used broomsticks -"

"A pregnant bat on a broomstick? _Really?_" Frankie yelled.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" Herriman snapped back. "What about Hogsmeade?"

"No hospitals! Sandy and Deathley are going there to Apparate to-"

"St. Mungo's?"

"They don't have maternity wards! I was going to say they were going to London for a Muggle hospital."

"Brilliant. What are you going to tell the children?"

"_Me?_ What about _you?_"

Herriman grunted. "Fine - we'll both tell them."

The two ran back into the Great Hall.

---

CRASH.

Sandy and Deathley had used Side-Along Apparition to London from Hogsmeade. The two girls landed in a dark alleyway, startling a few stray cats. Sandy squinted her eyes to see the hospital's silhouette about a block away.

"Deathley - the hospital's a block away! C'mon!"

Deathley nodded. "Right!"

They ran out of the alleyway as quickly as they could. People stared at them - a squirrel and bat in robes isn't something you see everyday.

They busted into the hospital's main lobby were other patients and visitors were waiting, and ran up to the main desk.

"Welcome to -" the receptionist said in a bored voice, but was cut off by Sandy.

"My friend here's in labor - can you send us to the -"

"Right on it," the woman said, calling for doctors. Deathley sat down and breathed heavily as the two were waiting for doctors.

---

As soon as Herriman and Frankie entered the Great Hall, questions filled the Hall at numerous volumes.

"Where's Professor Cheeks?"

"Where's Professor McClash?"

"Where's the beef?"

"Where's my question?!"

"Calm down, students!" Herriman announced. "There's been an emergency for Professors Cheeks and McClash - no need to start going wild!"

"Well, we should be!" Mindy of Endsville shouted out.

"And why is that?" Herriman asked.

"'Cause it's fun!"

"Not on my watch, Ms. Mindy."

"Still, we should," Mindy added. "What else can we do? Be quiet?"

Silence. Then loud laughter.

Herriman crossed his arms, defeated. "Fine, we shall serve food."

The food suddenly appeared at all the House tables.

"Enjoy," he said fairly annoyed. He walked over to the Ravenclaw table to sit with the students as conversations filled the air. "That Mindy is a Slytherin indeed…"

"Mr. Herriman, where did Professor McClash go, exactly?" Violet Baudelaire asked.

"Did she go to Hogsmeade?" Klaus Baudelaire asked as well.

He sighed. "She was pregnant."

"WHAT?" the entire Ravenclaw table shouted.

"She should've told us!" Double D said. "I have science textbooks with ideas for childbearing folks!"

"We should've cooked her some food!" Panini Endive jumped in.

"We should've built a crib!" Tails added.

"We should've bought make-up!" Fifi Le Fume yelled, grabbing her make-up case.

"We should've got her…um…" Mac said, but trailed off, thinking of an idea.

"Meh," Sunny Baudelaire muttered, which meant, "I know a lot about babies."

"Coco coco coco co co co!" Coco the Bird/Plant/Plane said. ("I laid an egg the other day with a pacifier!")

"How did she keep it a secret for so long?" Cream asked, petting her chao Cheese.

"I have no idea," Herriman replied, rubbing his head.

"I got it!" Mac exclaimed as he snapped his fingers. "We can make a card!"

The entire table stared at him.

"…It's just an idea…" Mac grumbled.

"You've had better," Fifi replied.

Herriman looked at his pocket watch. It had now been a half-hour since Deathley and Sandy left for London.

"Is there someway we can surprise her before we leave in a few hours?" Tails asked.

"You can always do what you suggested," Herriman said. "Jolly good ideas. Yes, you too, Master Mac," he added as Mac looked over. "Do it quickly as the elves are setting up the Hogwarts Express in Hogsmeade. Enjoy. You there, please stop that food fight!"

The rabbit hopped off to his business.

"You heard the rabbit, let's do it!" Panini yelled as the Ravenclaw table cheered.

---

It had now been four hours in total since Sandy and Deathley left. Tails and Violet built a music box (without magic, as it isn't allowed outside of classes.) in two hours; Cream, Panini and Sunny baked their Professor a batch of cookies; Mac created the card with all of their names on it; Double D and Klaus made a pamphlet about babies' general needs, while Coco supplied them all with what they needed. There was about an two hours to spare before the Hogwarts Express was to let students in to leave.

"All done!" Tails said and he and Violet changed the crib's color into white.

"So are we!" Mac announced, holding up the blue and silver card.

"It's so sad that Ms. McClash can't be here," Cream said, lowering her head.

"Maybe she had the baby," Panini said hopefully.

"But the baby can't be brought here immediately, Panini," Klaus said. "The baby needs to be evaluated by hospital staff so -" He cut off as he noticed Panini wasn't paying attention.

"Pack up," Sunny said to Violet.

"Yes, Sunny. Klaus! We need to pack up for the Express."

The Baudelaires left for Ravenclaw Tower. The other begun to leave as they realized they need to pack up.

---

"Congrats, Ms. McClash! It's a girl!" The doctor said as he handed Deathley the newborn vampire cabat - cat and vampire bat hybrid, if you will.

Deathley's face was tear stained from the pain of the labor and the excitement. "Thank you, sir."

The baby girl had brown fur like her mother, a patch of wild jet black hair, black wings on her back, white muzzle, button black nose, large ears…only thing the baby was still sleeping, so the eye color is unknown. Deathley wiped away her tears as a nurse waled over with a clip board.

"Name of the baby?"

Deathley had picked the name months ago. She breathed in.

"Alexis Claire Cramdilly."

The nurse nodded her head. "Father's name?"

"Blik Cramdilly."

"No middle name?"

"Yes."

"Your name?"

"Demi Rose McClash."

"Divorced?"

Deathley sighed. "Yes," she lied. She added quickly as the nurse walked off, "He's relieved of parenting duties!"

She handed Alexis to the doctor for some check-ups. "I'll go tell your friend!" he said as he walked off to care for Alexis.

Deathley's ears perked up as she heard a song play over a small radio in the corner.

_Do you believe in magic_

_In a young girl's heart_

_How the music can free her_

_Whenever it starts_

_And it's magic if the music is groovy_

_And makes you feel happy like an old-time movie_

---

"All aboard the Hogwarts Express!" Herriman yelled as the entire student body was rounded up for the train, which was polished for this trip. "No pushing! Gather all your belongings! Hey, you, don't changes him into a slug!"

All the Ravenclaws had all their belongings with them, as well as the gifts they made for Deathley, who wasn't going to show up, sadly.

"I wonder how the baby is," Cream said, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

"Oh, she's fine," a female voice said behind the group. They all looked around.

"PROFESSOR CHEEKS!" The entire group yelled, gleefully.

"How's the baby?" Panini asked excitedly.

"It's a girl - Alexis Claire."

"Is she pretty?" Fifi asked.

"Very!"

"Can you give Professor McClash our gifts?" Tails asked.

"Sure - where are they?"

Cream handed Sandy the plate of cookies, Tails handed her the music box, Mac gave her the card, and Klaus gave her the pamphlet. Sandy put the gifts in her suitcase, which she took with her when she went to the hospital. "I'll give it to her as soon as I can - my plane leaves in a week, like hers. We need to go back to that hotel in London again."

Sandy gave one last wave as she went over to talk to Mr. Herriman, Frankie, and the other students.

Cream felt a sudden jolt of memory as she barely remembered a song heard long ago…

_I'll tell you the magic_

_It'll free your soul_

_But it's like telling a stranger_

_About rock and roll_

_If you believe in magic_

_Don't bother to choose_

_If it's just band music_

_Or rhythm and blues_

_Just go and listen_

_It'll start with a smile_

_That won't wipe off your face _

_No matter how hard you try_

_Your feet start tapping_

_And you can't seem to find_

_How you got there_

_So just blow your mind_

**THE END**

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I hope you enjoyed this fic! Sixteen pages, according to Microsoft Works…wow! I outdid Masuphobia by eight more pages!

Yes, the song is Do You Believe in Magic? by The Lovin' Spoonful - belongs to them, not me!

-EAI


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